Alcohol is Hurting You

I lost my mother to alcohol, and it still wasn’t enough.

She didn’t even die. She just reached a point where drinking became her only priority in life. But no matter how bad it hurt to watch alcohol destroy my family, it wasn’t enough to ever make me question my own drinking habits.

Is alcohol hurting you? It was hurting me. Drinking to excess is one of the Five Mistakes I Made In My Early Twenties. If you’re a man in the process of questioning your longest-held beliefs – i.e., taking the Red Pill – this post will help you make better choices than I did.

Alcohol Is Destroying Your Body And Mind

If you care about Getting Lean And Muscular, alcohol will hold you back from the best physique and performance that you’re capable of.

Heavy drinking will also shrink your brain, weaken your heart, and eventually lead to chronic fatigue and dementia. Think back to the last time you got drunk. How did you feel the next day? How do you feel after a long weekend of binge drinking? A hangover is your body’s way of telling you to stop abusing it.

Sometimes I wonder how sharp my mind would be today if I hadn’t spent all those years in a drunken stupor. Did I sacrifice my greatest gifts in life for the sake of keg parties and dollar-shot nights? If so, can I ever get back what I lost? Who knows.

A young body is capable of withstanding incredible abuse. I used to pride myself on being able to go out drinking all night, then wake up and kick a girl out at eight o’clock in the morning so I could go grind through problem sets in the library.

But what could I have done if I had set a higher goal than being able to wake up and function? What if I had made it my goal to Optimize My Cognitive Performance from a young age? What great things might I have done in my early twenties, if I hadn’t drank away half my time and energy? I’ll never know.

Will you?

Alcoholism Is Real

It’s easy to forget that alcohol can destroy your life.

When you’re in your early twenties, everyone is drinking, everyone feels in control, and everyone feels confident that they’re on a path to success. Then you become an adult, the years roll by, and men start to fade. Everyone has a great stride at the start of a marathon.

Let me tell you about a friend named Ryan.

Ryan had as much potential as anyone I’ve met. After college, he landed a great job, and moved in with his girlfriend.

Then everything went to shit. The girl left. The career imploded. Ryan was no longer the cool, fun, carefree, successful guy who liked to get loose and have a few drinks. He became the aggressive, irresponsible alcoholic who took stupid chances and got kicked out of bars and parties. His drinking increased, becoming sad and medicative.

Everyone loves a happy alcoholic. It’s easy to ignore an addiction when everything is going right. But allowing yourself to become dependent on alcohol introduces fragility to your life. If everything you have starts to fall apart tomorrow, will you have the strength to rebuild from scratch? Or will you seek an escape in the drug that you’ve learned to associate with the better times? You have no idea until you try.

Life comes in peaks and valleys. When you’re brought low, will you give up? Or keep moving? The more dependent you are on alcohol and other easy escapes, the more likely it is that you’ll quit.

The Blue Pill Comes In A Bottle

If you’re reading Thumotic, you’ve realized that our society has declared war on traditional masculinity. The Cultural Marxists in power want to reduce men to soft, weak, compliant, effeminate shadows of themselves.

Binge-drinking culture is one of their tools. They know alcohol will make you stupid; they know alcohol will decrease your testosterone; they know alcohol allows you to thoughtlessly piss away your free time; they know alcohol holds you back from learning, growing, and building something.

Nothing is more threatening to the ruling elite than groups of strong, smart, resourceful men, working together to challenge their power. But we can’t do very much when we’re all sleeping off hangovers.

Worst of all, binge-drinking culture is most strongly ingrained in groups of young men with the greatest potential to lead, such as fraternities and college sports teams. Fraternities could be the most Red Pill institution in America today, if they weren’t in thrall to the red solo cup.

Ask yourself: Who writes and produces the Hollywood films that glorify college drinking culture? Certainly not men who want you to become strong. Who’s interests are served when you make idols of Bluto, Van Wilder, and Frank The Tank? Certainly not your own.

You’ve taken the Red Pill. That means you’ve learned how to doubt what you’ve been taught, such as the idea that you must base your entire social life on an unhealthy, mind-numbing, oestrogenizing drug. Alcohol (and beer especially) reduces your testosterone. It literally makes you less of a man. And yet, we have been taught to associate beer with masculinity:

  • Men socializing? Drink beer.
  • Men playing masculine sports (rugby, hockey, lacrosse) at the collegiate level? Drink obscene amounts of beer.
  • Upper-class men who are future leaders of the country forming brotherhoods in elite universities? Base your entire life on planning to drink beer; procuring beer; drinking more beer than anyone else; and forming an entire subculture based on drinking heavily.

How much of this is coincidence? It’s interesting to note that drugs which make you more confident, contemplative, open to experience, intelligent, and masculine – i.e., Cocaine, Hallucinogenics, MDMA, Modafinil, and Testosterone – are actively repressed, while drugs that make you soft and weak (alcohol and marijuana) are accepted and glorified.

Even if you don’t believe in society’s war on men (i.e, you aren’t paying much attention), The Red Pill is about self-mastery, self-improvement, masculinity, and control over your destiny. Binge drinking is antithetical to each of these goals. It is completely ridiculous to call yourself “Red Pill” and still get drunk regularly.

Being An Alcoholic Is A Choice

You’ve got excuses. I know I did.

I wish I could tell you that it will be easy, and that all your true friends will stand by you no matter what. But I’m not going to lie to you. It won’t be that easy. Turning your back on alcoholism is a choice, and choices come with consequences.

Let me tell you about Steve.

In my first year of undergrad, my friend Steve realized that alcohol was hurting him.

Steve decided that he was going to start drinking less. We were supportive of his decision and we did our best to accommodate ourselves to Steve’s new lifestyle choice. It turned out to be a great opportunity for the rest of us to take a hard look at our own drinking habits, and develop some new common interests that didn’t revolve around alcohol.

(Yeah, right.)

What actually happened: Steve’s entire circle of friends ruthlessly mocked him for not getting blackout drunk. We still considered him a good friend. But, all we ever did was drink, and make fun of Steve for not drinking. Over time, he drifted away.

I’m telling you this story so you know what you’re getting into.

If your crew drinks every night, and you choose to go against the grain, you will lose friends. Maybe not all of them, and maybe not forever. But you will challenge their worldviews, and there will be consequences.

Part of the reason is the crabs-in-a-bucket phenomenon. Your friends will be threatened by your attempts to improve yourself. It would be a like a fat guy in a group of fat guys who started lifting weights.

It’s also a matter of lifestyle. If all your friends are rock-climbers, and you all go rock-climbing together five days a week, and you hang out and talk about how awesome rock-climbing is, and how crazy last night’s rock-climbing session was, and how excited you are about the big rock-climbing event coming up this weekend, and then one day you decide you aren’t interested in rock-climbing – your friends won’t even need to reject you. You’ll just get bored of them, and they’ll get bored of you.

It will hurt. Accept it.

In the end, Steve lost some friends. But he also didn’t fail any more classes, or spend any more nights in jail. We’re still in touch, and Steve is doing great. I know that the first year or two was hard for him, but he’s a better man for it, and I’m a worse man for not having the courage to follow his lead.

What Are You Going To Do?

There will be resistance:

  • As I’ve cut back on my drinking over the past two years, some of my closest friends have pushed back and acted personally offended that I want to drink less.
  • It is much harder to sleep with girls on a first date when alcohol isn’t involved.
  • Sharing a pint with a prospective client is much more likely to lead to business than coffee.
  • My life is full of small pleasures that are enhanced by alcohol: Catching up with old friends; sharing a beer with my father on the deck; weddings and bachelor parties; weekends at the cottage.

I don’t say no every time. But every year, I say ‘no’ a little more often. I haven’t given up alcohol completely, but I do stick to a six-drink maximum on any single day.

Am I ever afraid of missing out? Not at all. I’ve been drunk a thousand times or more in my life. I get it. I know what it’s like. I also know that there are million other things to do and experience, and I have nothing to gain from re-hashing the same self-destructive debauchery every weekend.

If you’re a college-aged man, I’m jealous of the opportunity you have to make a choice, right now, to avoid the same mistakes that I made.

You will have to be a leader

You will have to accept that you will lose friends, and that your life will be full of small conflicts between yourself and the social norms around you. You will have to be prepared for the sideways glances, the pointed questions, the naked mockery that come when you order a soft drink, or serve your friends fresh juice instead of beer.

The younger you are, the easier it is to get caught up in what other people think of you. Trust me: The loss of a few temporary friends is not more important than your health, your time, your intellect, and your self-respect. If you find yourself with some extra free time, Start Lifting Weights, Use The Red Pill To Improve Your Life, and read some Great Books For Men.

The majority of college-aged men will spend the most important four year of their lives drunk or hungover half the time. But Thumotic is a community for exceptional men, who want to do exceptional things with their lives.

So tell me: What are your current drinking habits? Is alcohol hurting you? If so, what are you going to do about it? Tell us in the comments below.

Comments

    • Frost_25 says

      Yeah that matches my research and experience. I do still have a few drinks occasionally, but I have a hard limit of six (at 210lbs) and rarely get halfway to it.

  1. MM says

    I quit drinking 3 months ago and it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I didn’t drink on a daily basis, but on weekends my alcohol consumption was quite high.
    I have realized that since I quit my mind works much faster now (improved focus and efficiency), I sleep better and physically I feel better than ever (faster gym recovery, harder erections…)

  2. nroudyk says

    I’ve been back from an eastern european country for 4 days now, and haven’t touched a bottle, nor felt the need to thankfully. My friends there were heavy drinkers and hanging out with them I was constantly getting drunk, even to the point that I would just do it by myself. From now on, I will only drink socially, and Im gonna take a page out of your book and stick to six drinks maximum, whatever they may be.

    • Frost_25 says

      Good to hear it man. I find making changes it often all about who you surround yourself with, so I think you’re already a few steps ahead.

  3. Adam says

    H.L. Mencken’s 3 rules of drinking:
    Never drink alone
    Never drink when the sun is shining
    Never drink when you have work to do

    • Frost_25 says

      There are many options.

      I get together with a group of friends and talk about business and personal development once a week on a guy’s balcony. We all bring fruit and veg and he makes juices for all of us.

      Coffee and tea.

      Diet coke isn’t ideal, better than beer though.

      One glass of wine instead of three beers.

  4. Scaninavoobro says

    The thing with drinking is that you’re essentially living on credit. Life is great – at that moment. Then life sucks the next day, and the rest of your life sucks a little bit more for every binge drink you go through.

    For example: After my bachelor degree I went travelling. I eventually started working at a beach establishment in a cool country (think Lebanon). During those two months I experienced so many cool things, slept with so many girls, did so many stupid things that I still have new stories to tell my friends, years after. Yet during the same period six months of lifting was evaporated, I lost 20 % of my bodyweight (83 to 68 kilos) and came back emaciated, chain-smoking, unhealthy – with nothing but a tan and my memories. I then tried to relive through 6 months of non-stop partying and then a half-year trip to Brazil.

    All the while, my friends were getting into serious relationships, starting their careers, taking care of their bodies. I finally ran into the wall, flied home, enrolled in a master (which are free in my country, so no big loss), started lifting again, started eating a balanced diet and started working on my career. One year later my body is stronger then ever, my studies are doing great, I’m considered the smart guy in a class of verty smart people, have a good extra job (instead of my old blue-collar one) and have been accepted into a very coveted internships that half my program applied for.

    I still binge drink about once a week, and I still miss the 2.5 years of solid partying I did between 21 and 24, but the net effect is an improvement.

    The reason I still hurt myself once a week are partly that its what my social group does, and partly because that’s the only way I can meet girls. I met a few good ones during those years which I brazenly threw away, but unfortunately all good leads (i.e girls I could date seriously) have lead nowhere recently. I tried internet dating and tinder, but I’ve found that I can get better girls live (I guess I’m not handsome enough). The obvious solution would be to quit the alcohol and replace it with daygame, but I’m not quite ready to make that leap yet. But I’m definitely thinking about it.

    Today though, I’ll try the six drinks rule.

  5. says

    Wow Man! EPIC POST. POWERFUL and THOUGHT PROVOKING! I just saw you commented on my blog and it was labeled as spam. Fixed. Please reach out and we’ll chat. I will definitely link to this in my recent post about Alcohol in Moderation. GREAT JOB!

  6. delicioustacos says

    I used to get drunk alone almost every day. I joined Alcoholics Anonymous in February. Some observations:

    1) I lost 10lbs immediately. All fat. Suddenly I am shredded, but:

    2)
    I was terrified and awkward in social situations at first. Especially
    with women. I felt like my skin had been ripped off and I was being
    hosed down with ice water. It’s only now subsiding, four and a half
    months in.

    3) I thought I might never get laid again. But on the
    first sober date I went on, I got laid. Also the second one. And so on.
    If you have a date routine the machinery kicks in even if you’re shaky
    on the tiller. I was nervous and weird on all these dates. But I had
    thought I needed to be 100% on all the time. Not true. You can be a
    little nebbishy as long as you hit the key beats. Sober sex is
    phenomenal.

    4) Once-distant memories and emotions came raging
    back. The memories bit is cool. The emotions bit is fucking rough.
    Alcohol gives you a cool detachment to things and dumbs you down. When
    you quit, you are flooded with the opposite of that. Sadness,
    self-hatred, awful vulnerability coupled with your mind being in a
    sudden high gear and able to attach thoughts and images to these
    feelings. The things you drank to escape never go away. They sit there
    building up compound interest. There will be pain.

    5) AA is
    helpful with the bad parts. It seems like cultish bullshit at first. But
    it helps like a motherfucker to hear people speak honestly about the
    exact same shit you thought only you went through. If you have a truly
    serious drinking problem it’s worth checking out.

    • Robert says

      Tacos…I’m glad to hear you didn’t take the advice of all the idiots who posted on your website. I know I told you to go to AA, and rehab if you could afford. Glad to hear it’s working out.

  7. Myles Davis says

    I as well used to get blackout drunk 4, 5 times a week and the next day bang out high level mathematics problems sets in college. I used to be very impressed with myself, even look down on some of the kids who didn’t party the night before who had less demanding coursework, but now i look back and its quite a shame. Theres no counting the talent I may have squandered.

    The bragging amongst me and my buddies in University about how our tolerances were ridiculously high was frequent. The modern American man is proud of the 15-20 beers he can slam on a nightly basis. The shaming you experience when you don’t step up to the table and take that shot poured for you is a bitch and hard to deal with on a regular basis.

    Moving is a great way to get over the habit, but still it follows you. I moved halfway across the world and It’s still hard to cut out alcohol completely. I have a reputation in my family as a partier, so I know when I see them next their going to be forcing that frame on me.

    But your right man, the “its getting better all the time” mentality is a damn strong one, and every year I drink less. Great article.

  8. Rick says

    Great post. I hope you keep them coming, I miss seeing your writing on a more regular basis.

    Once you actually put the ideas and new self-improvement habits found here and on other sites into practice, into reality, you realize how damn hard improving yourself can be. I’m still barely in the college age group (18-22) and never went away for school but most of my friends here at home are big drinkers. It’s always been the main bonding activity. After reading D&P and you I am going to give it a stronger go this time around.

    In the past attempts at “Nah, I’m good right now” when the shots are already poured usually made me break down. And I can rationalize it and say I wanted to join the fun, when really it was my inability to say no. Saying no is something in and of itself that I need to work on. I’ve been there on both sides, getting called a pussy and calling other guys pussies and I cringe a little when I think back on myself doing so.

    I realized the real change needed to come when I was out for my friend’s birthday. Normally, you’d think a birthday would be a raucous occasion and he’d want every girl in the place to know. But, I approach a couple girls, who he asked me to approach for us, and he barely contributes. He hangs back on the outside of the group. When I finally asked him how his night was going, why wasn’t he being more aggressive with girls, he said, “I got my beer. I am happy.”

    Fuck that noise. Fuck being average. From now on I’m sticking to a 6 drink max. as well. Sometimes I’ll break it when the feeling is right, but I don’t need alcohol anymore. Breaking social norms and finding new friends is the hardest part, but that’s why we’re here. Excuse the long comment. I had a lot to get out and I want to let other young men out there who are in the same boat we are not alone.

  9. Michael Shorts says

    You lost me at a six drink maximum. Six is a lot of drinks. I never drink alone, and 2-3 drinks is my max. I want to feel relaxed, not buzzed.

  10. says

    A good friend of mine stopped drinking earlier this year. He came to visit me last year and we went on one hell of a bender. It was fun. When we get together now, I have to watch myself with references to drinking. I fully support him and I’m proud of him for it. It does change the dymanic a bit though.

  11. Dagonet says

    Great post, Frost. It should be spread far and wide.

    And I also want to concur with DeliciousTacos that dating, getting laid, and having sex can be achieved just as effectively sober. In some cases, it’s even better/easier. When I drink, I just get tired and get headaches. I drink lightly when I go out and socialize, but the idea of “getting drunk” so I can talk to girls is completely alien to me. Being in control of my faculties and completely lucid is more exciting to me, and I am more effective in all my pursuits.

    As DT said, it can be very intimidating trying to get by without the crutch of alcohol after you’ve come to rely on it. I actually saw him struggling with that firsthand in the period just after he gave up drinking. But it really is just an internal, mental conflict. Once you can overcome your personal fears and issues with giving up drinking, you’ll discover that being sober is really no impediment to meeting and sleeping with beautiful women. And as noted, there are tons of other benefits to your health and well-being too.

  12. Gus Tav says

    To me it seems like alcohol isn’t necercarily THAT bad, unless it interferes too much with your normal weekdays were you should be grinding, learning, earning and lifting.
    For some perspective try and read these two posts by Jamie Lewis at CnP;
    http://chaosandpain.blogspot.it/2013/09/were-killing-these-shots-like-rip-and.html?zx=cd8a23d15daf8479
    http://blog.chaosandpain.com/?p=108

    Basically the point of these two posts is that a high intake of alcohol often is correlated with being an awesome, risking taking, high-testosterone motherfucker and that it for an example, does not hurt your progress in the gym, but CAN have the opposite effect!

  13. TheShido says

    I’ve really cut down on my drinking, limiting myself to a half-dozen every time I decide to. Part of the reason is that I’ll take Kratom and drinking heavily on that stuff is a terrible idea. I also spend a lot more on quality booze and enjoy myself, rather than racing to get fucking hammered. It’s more fun that way, and people (those with their shit together anyway) will respect someone with limits who can hold a conversation beyond ‘I’m so fucked man’.

    Good stuff. Thanks Frost.

  14. shanewwarren says

    This was a great read. It’s funny you recognized the bad habits your mother had, but just as easily slipped into them yourself. My father was an alcoholic my whole life and my brothers were both addicted to heroin. Even with all that I still fell into a similar trap.

    I have been drinking much less, but I feel compelled to give it up completely. I am going to foster the belief that life can still be fun and maybe more fun without it.

  15. hoodlum81 says

    Add in class A drugs to heavy alcohol consumption, extend “early 20s” to “ages 16 through 31″ and that’s more what I ended up doing to myself. All in the name of boosting social confidence, at least at first.

    I was borderline genius as a kid. Head and shoulders most intelligent at an exclusive private school, sitting with a class 2 years older than me.

    I’m certainly no slouch today compared to many, but I’m acutely aware of the thick fog that pervades my brain, my predisposition to low mood and energy, and the fact that I ended up on TRT. Perhaps not a coincidence. I wonder, what potential did I squander?

    Youngsters would do well to heed this advice. Your 20s should be the foundation block for the progress you make the rest of your life, not just a “disposable” decade in which to piss your money and health away.

  16. Nike says

    I find your article awful. You first were right when you were talking about how being drunk robs you of personal growth, but I despise your chauvinism. “Wah.. I can’t sleep with girls on the first date..” “Society’s out to get male privileges..” It makes no sense and you sound incredibly sexist and entitled to women.

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