Masculine men don’t date feminists.
Occasionally, horniness and a lack of better options forces us to bang them. But even then, we are merely going through the motions with the urgency and desperation of a starving man scraping rotten cheese off a discarded pizza box.
But as a man with options, I am free to live by the following rule: I don’t date Feminists. Here are eight reasons why every self-respecting American man should adopt this rule as his own:
1. A Feminist Will Accuse You Of Rape
Once upon a time, the word “Rape” meant something. Today – and I wonder how women who have actually been dragged into alleys, held down and capital-R Raped feel about this new definition – rape can mean:
– A girl had a few drinks before having consensual sex
– A girl felt ‘pressured’ into having consensual sex
– A girl who had sex, woke up regretting it, and came up with any of a dozen hamster-wheel rationalizations to concoct a narrative of the night that absolves her of responsibility
As I wrote in How To Avoid A False Rape Accusation:
“Decent girls do not make false rape accusations. Sick, evil, damaged, unloved dregs of society – i.e the sort that gravitate towards the social justice warrior mentality – make false rape accusations. If you are going dumpster diving and scraping ugly feminists off the bottom of the barrel just to get laid, you have no one to blame but yourself when you eventually lose that game of Russian Roulette.”
2. Feminists Are Walking STD Factories
A promiscuous woman will likely have a few strains of fertility-impairing HPV, Chlaymdia, or Gonorhhea kicking around in her plumbing. Fortunately, most common STDs are no more than a nuisance to men, but still – no one likes a nuisance. The typical feminist has a cavalier attitude towards STDs, and some even wear their disease-addled snatch like a badge of honour. As Susan Walsh put it:
“They want for you to have an STD too. They want all the young women in NY, and eventually the whole country to have STDs, because then they won’t be slut shamed anymore. If sluts ruled the world, then they could shame virgins instead (they’re already trying). If every woman has genital herpes, whoo hoo! Sisterhood! If every woman has HPV and compromised fertility, YES! Everyone can sing the “no baby blues” together at 40! Women can keep each other company in oncology offices as they await treatment for their cervical cancer.”
If you want to avoid STDs, avoid sleeping with Feminists.
3. A Feminist Will Take Half Your Shit
“I Want half Eddie!”
4. A Feminist Will Bore You
I like smart, funny, happy girls who are equally interested in big ideas and low humour. Intelligent and well-adjusted women do not become feminists. The type of woman who becomes a feminist has a middling intellect, angry disposition, and some sort of general unresolved problem with the world, which she will take out on you, as a representative of The Patriarchy. Snark is the only humour she is capable of using, and her worthless education in the art of Hamsterbation is the only source of insight and opinion she has ever known.
5. A Feminist Will Get Fat
Yes, we all know that Feminists Are Ugly. But let’s say you do the impossible and find a Feminist who is actually thin and attractive. Before you invest emotionally or otherwise, be warned that she will balloon up to grotesque proportions and not feel an ounce of guilt, courtesy of the body acceptance movement.
6. A Feminist Will Kill Your Child
This is of course a plus if you’re just using a Feminist woman as a fire-and-forget receptacle for some spare semen you’ve got weighing your balls down – as you should be. But for any man considering actually dating a modern liberated woman, keep this scenario in mind.
You’re a young man, fucking around and having a good time. Yeah, you’ve been banging this one girl more often than the rest, but no big deal. Then one day she asks you to sit down. She tells you she’s pregnant. She tells you she’s thinking of keeping it. You freak out. You’re too young for this. You don’t want to be a father.
A month goes by. Then another one. You realize you’re not that young. You think about the value of what your father did for you, and how much he treasures that relationship. More time goes by. She’s seven months along now. You’ve seen the ultrasounds, heard the heart beat. It’s a boy. Another month. You think back to the carefree playboy you were eight months ago, and laugh. You have a son now. You are a father.
A Feminist in this situation will have zero moral problem with the act of killing that child on a whim. Decent and reasonable people can disagree on the morality of the morning after pill, and early term abortions in various circumstances, but Feminists are neither. The official Hamster line on abortion is set in stone. Any abortion, any time, under any circumstance, is A-OK. To suggest otherwise is to betray the cause of women’s rights. To suggest that the mere father of any unborn child might be owed some notice, or god forbid some input to the decision is heresy. This is the moral framework in which a Feminist operates.
As such, she will feel zero obligation to discuss the decision with you. She has surrounded herself with an ideological and social cocoon of soothsayers who would view a secret late-term abortion as not just morally permissible, but as praiseworthy, a sort of Feminist merit badge.
You may not want to be a father now, but who knows how you’ll feel after seeing and feeling your child? You certainly don’t, which is why you should take every precaution necessary to avoid putting that child in the belly of a woman who could kill it without blinking away a tear.
7. You Don’t Need To Date A Feminist To Fuck Her
Though Feminist women make for poor company, bad friends, terrible girlfriends, and the worst of all possible choices as the mother of your children – they are good for one thing: Mediocre and uncommitted sex when all other options have been exhausted. Personally, I try to avoid banging Feminist women in addition to avoiding dating them. But I see no reason why a man armed with a fake name, a kryptonite condom, and the ability to wear the mask of a lickspittle mangina for the sake of an evening of pleasure, shouldn’t indulge.
In a way, pumping and dumping Feminists is a token of our great respect for them. We are so confident in their ‘independent woman’ bona-fides, we will reserve our physical protection, emotional vulnerability, creative dates, introductions into our social circles, and other Patriarchal reminders that we are powerful men, for the weak Traditional women that we properly date. Feminists, on the other hand, are so strong! They don’t need anything more than twenty minutes of drunken four-AM fucking that we will enjoy only slightly more than jerking off.
8. Dating A Feminist Just Encourages The Rest
Dear Reader, can you imagine a world in which the Feminist movement is as shriveled, worthless, unused and obscure as Carrie Bradshaw’s uterus? It’s easy if you try.
Every society has its dregs. Broken, unloved, women will be with us always, and they will crave equality with desirable women. The leaders of the Feminist movement will always exist.
But we can coax the decent women they’ve led astray back into reality and our good graces, and push the leg-bearded rejects back into the holes from whence they came. All we have to do is take the remarkably easy and life-enhancing step of keeping our dicks away from them.