This country is filled with men who cannot get laid. Often it’s their own fault. They have let themselves go. They are slackers. Their standards are too high.

But there are also many decent-looking, gainfully employed, kind-hearted men with who are going hungry. Regular guys with good jobs, who are in good shape, have interesting hobbies, are close with their friends and family, dress well, and act like perfect gentlemen on dates and in relationships. Again and again, these men are frustrated by the disrespect they get from marginal girls in bars, and the radio silence that follows every single one of their carefully written OK Cupid opening messages.

In unison, these men cry out: What the hell am I doing wrong?

Good men of America, I have your answer. I know why you’re not getting laid. I know what you have to do to change your situation. But before I tell you, we need to get into the proper frame of mind. Good guys of America, let’s make a list of some men who the average American woman would much rather fuck than you:

1) Terrorists

Who is Dzhokar Tsarnaev? Hardened terrorist and a murderer of innocents… or misunderstood bad boy with a heart of gold?

If you ask teenage girls on Tumblr or the New York Times, your answer is the same: He’s just a scared boy with a good heart. All he needs is a green card, another shot at the boxing title, and the love of a good woman. Then he will see the light. Truly, the blood of the Boston victims is on our own hands for depriving him.

From the Free Jahar Tumblr:

“[Dzhokhar] sounded much more terrified than you could have possibly been. “Are you okay?” You begged him to tell you he was fine, nobody really knew. “I’m hit, in the leg, but I- wait what? You’re asking if I’m okay?” He was surprised, but calmer now. “I know you didn’t do it, and even if you did, I know you aren’t harmful.” He sighed with your words, he felt safe for the first time since he saw his face on the television.”

Fact: If you commit evil acts and take innocent lives, women will lust after you. Our most prestigious press organs and politicians will join the Tumblr crowd in excusing and explaining away your actions. You will have legions of adoring fans, maybe a book deal. And all for what? A few years in prison? Which brings us to the next entry on our list…

2) Convicted Felons

Gunning for that promotion to Senior Associate? If sex is your goal, you’ll probably have more luck climbing the greasy ladder to the top of your local prison gang.

“Thirteen female corrections officers essentially handed over control of a Baltimore jail to gang leaders, prosecutors said…

…The officers were charged Tuesday in a federal racketeering indictment. At the center of the investigation was an alleged leader of the Black Guerilla Family, Tavon White, who prosecutors said fathered five children with four of the corrections officers — Jennifer Owens, 31, of Randallstown; Katera Stevenson, 24, of Baltimore; Chania Brooks, 27, of Baltimore; and Tiffany Linder, 27, of Baltimore — since his incarceration on attempted murder charges in 2009.”

Of course not every prisoner can have a harem of female guards servicing him regularly. But I will lay money that a shithead who spends his 20s and 30s in and out of jail has a lot more access to willing women than your typical accountant or software engineer.

In any case, you have to do some pretty hard shit to actually get sent to prison these days. As long as you don’t actually kill anyone and have a good lawyer, you can probably walk the streets as a free man. For example, here’s another guy who the vast majority of women would step on your dick in their haste to fuck him…

3) Chris Brown

It’s a classic heartwarming love story: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy overcomes obstacle to win back girl. In this case however, the obstacle was that he laid into her with a few haymakers. I am pleased to report that Brown and Rihanna are doing just fine, so fine in fact that she recently bought him a million dollar Mercedes. Here’s a picture of Rihanna after their little tiff not so long ago:


And here’s Chris Brown’s new car:


Friend, let your eyes flick between those two photos for a minute while the message sinks in.

This is not to say that if you beat a girl she will buy you a car. But do note that Chris Brown still possesses a legion of lovestruck female fans, including Rihanna, despite his tendency to beat her like a ginger stepchild. One wonders if she would have been as forgiving, if he had committed the far greater crime – from the gina tingle perspective – of increasing the frequency and smiley-face content of his text message communication.

4) Serial killers

Are you spending an inordinate amount of time crafting the perfect OK Cupid profile opening messages? Perfecting the ideal length? Wondering if you should use that picture with your niece as the main profile, or go with the rock climbing one? Argh! The decisions! Still, your responses are hit or miss.

Meanwhile, Serial Killers have no problem locking down pen pals and converting them into sexual partners:

“…Ogas and Gaddam find substantial evidence from Web searches, posts, and many 1,000s of romance novels that women demonstrate a strong erotic preference for dominant men. Or toward what’s now commonly referred to as alpha males—in the authors’ words, men who are “strong, confident, [and] swaggering [as in “cocky,” and the pun is intended].” Unfortunately, what these descriptors often imply is behavior sufficiently bearish, self-centered, and insensitive as to often cross the line into a physical, mental, and emotional abuse that can be downright brutal.

Consciously, most women would like their men to be kind, empathic, understanding, and respectful. But there’s something in their native wiring that makes a great many of them susceptible to “bad boys.” Possibly because, as the authors quote Angela Knight as reflecting (in a sentiment that echoes the conclusions of most evolutionary psychologists): “[Their] inner cavewoman knows Doormat Man would become Sabertooth Tiger Lunch in short order”.

“…Moreover, in responding to the question as to whether some men, such as “serial killers, violent offenders, and rapists,” might be too dominant for women to accept, Ogas and Gaddam note: “It turns out that killing people is an effective way to elicit the attention of many women: virtually every serial killer, including Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, and David Berkowitz, have received love letters from large numbers of female fans.”

5) Bums

The ladies of r/AskWomen were recently so kind as to let their Ids run off leash in this thread: What tastes in men do you have that you’re not proud of ? Tip of the hat to the fine folks at r/TheRedPill for this find.

The responses are illuminating.  Roosh has observed that many women have a type that can be described as an Unemployed but Interesting Bum. Clean cut and hard-working sarari-men of America take note: If your primary reason for not quitting your job, growing a beard, and going on welfare is that you want to be attractive to women, think again. From the top-rated comments:

  • “If there’s a man in a 10 mile radius with scruffy facial hair that is completely broke and selling the weed he just grew it’s likely I will find him and date him.
  • Druggies. Ugh, I’ve dealt with so much drama from dating addicts. I’m mostly cured of it now, but I still swoon over potheads.
  • I’ve found I like to “fix” men. Not in a “he’s an asshole and I’m going to bring out his soft side” sort of way. I date losers. I want so badly to help them succeed, whether its financially, for school, for moral support.
  • Men with no job. What can I say? I’m a hard worker, I wanna take care of you.
  • If you look even remotely homeless, I will probably try to fuck you.

6) Sociopaths

Women are drawn to men who embody the Dark Triad traits. Assholes, manipulators, schemers, cocky pricks, dark souls – you’re in luck. Modern womenfolk are buying what you’re selling. Nice guys – read these adulations of sociopathic men, and pick the last few shards of blue-pill delusion from your soul:

  • I like arrogance. Not just confidence but that arrogant nature. Superiority complex. Think Loki from Avengers. Not necessarily people who would insult me though. Usually my long term relationships aren’t with these types though, thankfully.
  • Ugh. Arrogance is so attractive to me. I hate that I’m a sucker for the cocky guy who boldly rolls up on a group of women and just knows that he can charm the panties off every single one. I love that type. I just hate dating them.
  • I like unavailable men. “What? You have no interest in me whatsoever? Why, let me obsess over you for months!” Thanks, Dad.
  • I still find myself attracted to a “cool guy” over the nerdy guy. The guy who plays guitar and sports, and blah blah blah. It’s pretty ridiculous, considering I am a fucking adult now. Those things don’t mean anything. The nerdy guy is smart, and therefore has a good job, but for some reason that means nothing to me.
  • When I was younger I used to be really attracted to the ”bad boy” type guys. In trouble a lot, drank a lot, generally rebellious… The guy you wouldn’t bring home to your mother. Then I grew up a bit [translation: vroooom screeech ahhh where did that wall come from?] and really dislike that type of person now.
  • I like the serial killers…idk why. when i was younger, i found myself attracted to those types. the joker, roger from lord of the flies, the villian in cartoons…im insane i guess.
  • The biggest one of all, they are emotionally unavailable.
  • Dark and brooding, boarderline evil. Not that I’d ever actually date someone like that, but the idea is attractive to me (kind of liking ‘bad’ traits about something because it’s ). My real life SO is a total sweetheart so the idea of his absolute opposite is new and exciting, but just to think about.
  • I always like the men that dont like me :/. Then i get picked up by a nice boy and have a great bf, when we arent together anymore, i cant help myself, but wanting the guys that dont want me. 99% of the time I am used and end up disappointed.

And so on.

None of the above will be new information to regular readers of Thumotic. But every day, a few more men wake up from the happy-slappy fairy tales we’ve been told about women, sex and love in the 21st century. Maybe you, right now as you read this, are feeling a bit of an epiphany coming on. An author can hope.

If so, you’re probably wondering – what do I do with this information? How do I act on it?

I do not recommend blowing up innocent people, committing felonies, beating your girlfriends, or killing hookers and wearing their skin.

But you can, and should, and truly often you must, inflict upon the women you love, a measured dose of cruelty:

– Ignore their texts

– Blow off dates

– Act cool for no reason

– Prioritize your own needs above hers

– Hold onto your freedom to bang other women, with the fervor that pre-feminist women would have guarded their virginity. Retain your emotional chastity. Make her work for every scrap of emotional vulnerability that you reveal. Weak men are sluts, and are treated with the same subconscious disrespect. Strong men are aloof, uncaring, selfish… and evil.

Women like evil men. They will gravitate towards you, the worse you treat them. They will fall deeply in love with you, the more you torment them with a constant barrage of alternating icy coldness and fleeting glimpses of warmth and vulnerability. Lie to them and they will love you for it. Destroy them and they will follow you. Concern yourself with your own needs your needs alone, and they will do the same. Treat them kindly, with deference, respect, courtesy – and you will be ignored.