How A Sexually Transmitted Disease Made Me A Better Man

Getting diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease was one of the best things that ever happened to me. If you haven’t yet done so, I highly recommend you try it.

You think I’m being ironic. I promise that I’m not. My diagnosis with a common and transient sexually transmitted disease led to one of the more difficult and psychologically painful periods of my life. But the end result was worth it.

Lifting heavy weights will give you bigger, stronger muscles. Sparring with better fighters will make you tougher. Reading challenging books will make you smarter and more focused. Pushing through discomfort in negotiations and awkward approaches will make you more socially confident.

In the game of life, pain and difficulty lead to growth. Comfort leads to stagnation.

Going through a year of medically-enforced celibacy was a painful experience. It was frustrating and inconvenient on a physical level. More importantly, it made me acknowledge some uncomfortable truths about my values, my self-image, my inner resolve, and my priorities in life. It was painful, frightening – and necessary.

The Power Of Rejection

My first rejections weren’t particularly harsh or embarrassing. I asked out a few girls in middle school, and they said no. Other girls eventually said yes. Life went on.

But, those early rejections were traumatic. They created memories that stuck in my mind for years, creeping up unbidden during quiet moments of inward shame. It took four years of social and sexual success as an obnoxious high school bully for me to get over the feelings of inadequacy that I developed during a mildly awkward pre-teen phase.

If these brief and mild rejections were enough to hurt me as much as they did, I can’t imagine how much more difficult it must be for a young man to overcome a young adulthood of constant rejection. A man who is unsuccessful with women until his mid-twenties (not an uncommon story) will feel inclined to carry a chip on his shoulder for the rest of his life. He will pursue sexual conquests not for the sensual pleasure or the emotional connection, but rather for the base thrill of petty revenge. He will pursue sex, because sex is a confirmation of his value. He will take excessive pleasure in stories of older women ‘hitting the wall’, and of women rationalizing self-destructive relationships with men out of their league. He will waste precious hours of his life reading forums such as r/relationships and r/askwomen, reading gleefully the stories of the sort of women who rejected him years ago, receiving their comeuppance in the great karmic circle of life.

If all of this sounds familiar to you: Relax. I’m not here to lecture you on the morality of what you feel. But I will ask you some questions:

  • Are those feelings helpful and productive?
  • What purpose is served by holding on to your feelings of anger and inadequacy?
  • How many girls will you have to sleep with, before you can truly leave the past in the past, and focus on building the future that you want?

Rejection hurts. I get it. You can’t control what has happened to you in the past, and how it has affected you. But you do get to choose how it affects you from this minute onward. To quote Marcus Aurelius:

“Choose not to be harmed, and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed, and you haven’t been.”

Marcus_Aurelius_Metropolitan_Museum

The flip side of the sting of rejection, is the joy of acceptance. If you give a woman the power to crush your ego, you also give her the power to build it. There is no ego boost so powerful as the approval of an attractive woman. A woman’s interest is the validation of the sum total of your being, and it is much more powerful than any other achievement. Lifting a heavy weight suggests that you are physically strong. Earning money suggests you are intelligent, conscientious, and have skills that others value. But a woman’s desire demonstrates that, on a fundamental genetic level, you are worthy.

As men, we play games to measure our worth and sort ourselves into status hierarchies – but not all games are equal. Who is the true winner: The world champion Magic: The Gathering player? Or the team captain in an NHL franchise? No matter what pretty lies we tell ourselves, the final arbiter of earthly status is sexual access to pretty young women. Every fiber of a healthy man’s body desperately wants him to have sex with pretty young women. He is biologically programmed to judge his worth as a man according to his success at that task.

In the face of this awesome force, modern pick-up artists (often the closest successors we have to the ancient Stoics) preach the doctrine of outcome independence. According to this ideal, not only is it psychologically healthier for a man to base his self-worth on metrics other than his success with women; doing so will also make him a more effective seduction machine.

When I started having a lot of success with girls, I lacked outcome independence. I believed: Attractive women desire me. Therefore, I am a worthy man. I am accepted. I am complete.

But as the years went on, I started to tell myself that I had severed the link between the quality of women I was getting and my perceived self-worth.

If you had asked me, I would have told you that my confidence, my happiness, my pervading content – it was all unrelated to the validation of female approval. Even to the extent that I would have admitted an external basis to my self-esteem, I would have pointed you towards other accomplishments, other talents, and other relationships, and I would have said: “There! There is my self-worth! There is my ego!”

And I would have believed it – until I spent a year unable to use sex to reassure myself of my worth, and learned that I was completely full of shit.

Sexual Success Was A Necessary Part Of My Narcissistic Self-Image

The first thing I did when my doctor put me on sexual hiatus was think about the lies I would tell my friends. I was in no rush to share the truth with anyone. So, how was I going to explain to the world why I no longer had a new random girl on my arm every week?

During my celibate year, my story changed according to the audience I was in front of. For my work colleagues, who had grown accustomed to living vicariously through regular stories and Snapchats of debauchery, I invented a serious girlfriend who I didn’t like to talk about. While trading stories with friends over pints, I re-used past escapades that I had never gotten around to sharing, rather than sit in silence.

A better man could have told them something as simple, vague, and honest as, “I’m taking a break from dating right now.” But I wasn’t that man. I was incapable of defining myself independently of my sexual conquests. I was afraid of how I might appear to the world, without the incontrovertible social proof of constant access to desirable women.

For my entire adult life, I had defined myself as “the guy who gets a lot of girls.” It was one of the central pillars of my self-image. Maintaining this pillar had cost me time, energy, and a few relationships. Now it had cost me my health, but I still couldn’t put it aside. I couldn’t see myself as a man of value, unless that value was constantly validated by girls who wanted to sleep with me.

It’s easy to act like you’re outcome independent, when every outcome is coming up in your favour. But when that measuring stick was taken away from me, my ego flailed helplessly. Without sex, I became desperate for some instrument I could use to take stock of my worth.

Sex With New Girls Was My Purpose In Life

What’s my purpose in life? Surely it’s not to have sex with as many cute girls as possible, as often as possible. At least, that’s what I used to tell myself.

So how come I reacted to my diagnosis by drifting into spiritual ennui?

Even with the knowledge that my affliction was trivial and almost certainly temporary, and the logical understanding that a hiatus from the game would be a good opportunity to focus on other areas of my life, my motivation to become a better version of myself waned. What’s the point of working out and eating healthy? Why should I improve my skills, pursue leads, and grow my business? Why should I read great books for men?

I found that I didn’t have an answer. In retrospect, I had never come up with a good answer. Sleeping with a new girl every week was enough of a distraction to keep me from ever asking the question. Once that distraction was taken from me, I had nothing to keep me on track except for the good habits I had developed in the previous years of my life.

I had believed that success with women was an entertaining sideshow to my life, but my actions betrayed the reality of my reliance on sex for self-esteem, and a sense of purpose. Without the promise of sex with more and better women, I was adrift.

Pick-Up Culture Is A Road To Nowhere

Pick-up culture is a dead end. It is better than sitting in your room and doing nothing, and it is often a valuable stepping stone. But an identity built on the ability to attract women is a castle built on sand.

The pick-up movement has taken a set of genuine masculine virtues – social skills, sexual prowess, dominance, the ability to lead women – and turned them into cartoon caricatures. Every man should have the ability to approach and confidently seduce a woman. If you don’t, learning game should be a top priority in your life. But the existence of an entire sub-culture, with dedicated communities, language, and styles of dress – is odd and unhealthy.

The seduction community is an invaluable resource, and I have nothing but respect and gratitude for the men who have built it. But unless you are one of the few men who has made it his life’s work to understand and teach sexual dynamics – take what you need from it and move on. Don’t fall into the trap of defining yourself by the women you’re sleeping with.

You Are Not Your Notch Count

Sexual profligacy offers men an easy way to avoid difficult questions. Taking a vacation from the player lifestyle – voluntary or otherwise – is an important exercise towards better understanding who you are, and what motivates you. If sexual deprivation leads to a frustration of your physical desires, good – you are a healthy and vital man. But if it leads to an identity crisis and major psychological distress – as it did for me – you might benefit from asking: What needs am I really addressing with the pursuit of fresh conquests?

Jack Donovan and Chuck Palahniuk, authors of The Way Of Men and Fight Club, are two of the most insightful contemporary writers on the subject of men and masculinity. I once thought it was peculiar that they are both homosexuals, but it actually makes a lot of sense. Donovan and Palahniuk cannot define their worth as men by their ability to sleep with tons of women, so they are forced to look deeper.

In twenty-first century Western society, traditional masculine values are suppressed and demonized by a subversive culture committed to our destruction. Masculine energy is prohibited from finding its natural outlet in the construction and maintenance of a healthy civilization, so young men are confused, frustrated, and directionless.

One of our most common outlets is pick-up culture. We have identified one aspect of positive masculinity – sex with desirable women – and we have defined ourselves by it. We have built our egos, our lifestyles, and our identities around that one goal, and that’s not healthy.

You don’t have to become a monk. I’m certainly not. I continue to pursue sex, with the women I desire. But at this point in my life – after twenty-nine years, over a hundred girls, and a harsh reminder that I’m not as invincible and immune to consequences as I once thought – I’m no longer chasing sex to impress anyone, least of all myself.

Turning Pro

The metaphor of The Red Pill refers to the hidden, repressed nature of politically incorrect truths. We’re discovering new information, and discarding the lies that we’ve been taught.

But little of it is actually new. What we call “The Red Pill” was common knowledge to previous generations. For example, Shopenhauer, Shakespeare, and Jesus Christ would not have been surprised to learn that Chicks Dig Jerks. This forgotten wisdom is only new to us – a generation of men raised in the stifling and feminized culture of post-war progressivism.

And now that we have re-discovered it, we have made it widely available to anyone with a keyboard and an internet connection.

So… Why are there still so many broken men? Why is this still an obscure fringe movement?

Even the men who have “taken the red pill” are not out of the woods yet. Look in the mirror: Are you struggling in any aspect of your life? If so, why?

  • If you want to be healthy: Eat Paleo, lift heavy weights, do light cardio, juice vegetables, drink in moderation, and decrease stress
  • If you want to be financially comfortable: Earn money online, or just pick a lucrative career that matches your skills and disposition, work hard at it, and keep a disciplined budget
  • If you want to be successful with women: Get your health and money straight, take care of your appearance, learn game, and approach women regularly
  • If you want to be happy and pleasant to be around – read The Bible and pretend you believe it

All of the answers you need are right in front of your face. The information is out there. There’s just one problem…

Information Alone Is Insufficient

The Red Pill community contains a wealth of knowledge that young men can use to immediately start improving their lives. But it’s still a fringe movement. It’s still completely invisible to the vast majority of young western men. If we want to change that, then we have to think about how other men can be led to The Red Pill:

  • Men need to find the Red Pill community, via search engines, social media, or from talking to friends.
  • Men need to be interested in our knowledge. Our sites must quickly and clearly explain the value we offer.
  • Men need to trust what we are saying. Our sites must display markers of trustworthiness such as quality design, content, and marketing practices.
  • Finally, men need to be motivated to take action and start improving their lives. Our audience needs to be sold on the idea of making temporary sacrifice in their personal lives for long-term benefits.

In summary: It is not enough for The Red Pill to exist. It must be marketed. Young men must find The Red Pill; they must be convinced that we have the answers they need; and then they must be persuaded to turn information into action.

Being right is not enough. I’m tired of being right. I want to create a resource that pushes men to act.

What does this mean, in practice?

  • I’ve updated my three-year old web design, and implemented some basic internet marketing best practices. If you like the new design, check out the Genesis Framework and Magazine Theme for WordPress. If you like the logo, get in touch with Unlucky Devil.
  • I’m implementing a higher standard for all content that I publish. This will require more research, more efficient writing, and a greater focus on tweaks that will attract clicks, shares, and search engine traffic
  • I’m investing more time and energy into this blog – one full day per week.

Over the next month, my primary focus will be creating content that efficiently summarizes the best practices for men’s health, personal finance, dating, and productivity. My secondary focus will be bringing more readers to this blog, and improving my monetization strategies so I can continue to justify the time I spend on this project.

Are You Ready To Turn Pro?

If you think this post is self-indulgent, I encourage you to read between the lines and think about how you can apply these principles to your own life and projects. The lesson to take away is: If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right.

Roosh understands this:

“You should be as focused on performing trivial tasks as important ones because this trains your brain to work at high levels. Otherwise, lazy thinking and poor performance will seep into the tasks that you actually want to perform well at.I dislike cleaning my apartment, but the energy I put into it is the same as writing this article. I clean slowly and thoroughly, knowing that this is training for other tasks that have more weight in life. Rushing also causes you to make mistakes, often prolonging the task longer than if you did it carefully in the first place. Creating a habit of excellency means you have to do everything excellently, no matter how trivial. Even when I wash dishes by hand, I make sure to do a first-rate job. If anything is worth doing in life, it’s worth doing right.”

And Stephen Pressfield explores this concept in his excellent book, Turning Pro:

Turn Pro

“Turning pro is free, but it’s not easy. You don’t need to take a course or buy a product. All you have to do is change your mind.

Turning pro is free, but it’s not without cost. When we turn pro, we give up a life with which we may have become extremely comfortable. We give up a self that we have come to identify with and to call our own. We may have to give up friends, lovers, even spouses.

Turning pro is free, but it demands sacrifice. The passage is often accompanied by an interior odyssey whose trials are survived only at great cost, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. We pass through a membrane when we turn pro. It hurts. It’s messy and it’s scary. We tread in blood when we turn pro.

Turning pro is not for everyone. We have to be a little crazy to do it, or even to want to. In many ways the passage chooses us; we don’t choose it. We simply have no alternative.What we get when we turn pro is, we find our power. We find our will and our voice and we find our self-respect. We become who we always were but had, until then, been afraid to embrace and to live out.

Do you remember where you were on 9/11? You’ll remember where you were when you turn pro.”

It’s time for Thumotic – and the Red Pill blogosphere in general – to Turn Pro. From now on, I’m holding this blog to a higher standard. I’m investing the necessary time and energy to turn it into the best source of actionable self-improvement advice on the internet. I’m also operating the Red Pill Review – now with much faster load times and a freshly-updated top-ten lis – where I’m working to build an optimal content aggregator for this community. Check it out.

As for you, dear reader: What projects do you have in your life right now that you could be doing a better job on? What steps would you take, if you made the decision to Turn Pro? Let us know in the comments.

How To Feed Your Brain: Improving Your Focus, Productivity, and Information Management

If you’re an average North American man, your brain has been reduced to tepid mush. You probably won’t make it through this post before clicking away to something less burdensome on your attention span. Certainly not if I tempt you with links like 22 Lies Disney Told About Hair, or 45 Things You’ve Experienced Working In Retail.

Still here? All right, congratulations. There’s hope for you.

This article is about how the internet is destroying your brain, and what you can do to reverse the process. It will teach you to manage your information flows, and to focus on what’s really important in your life.

If you can take action on the information in this article, you will immediately find that you are more productive, smarter, and happier in your life.

The Problem: Information Overload

How many times in an average day do you check your Email? Social Media? Blogs? Forums?

Don’t lie, because I know the answer from my web traffic reports: The majority of you will read a new post within a few hours of the time I publish it. Retweets and Twitter messages tend to come in a similar time frame. The really scary part is that my readers are, on average, smarter and more disciplined than the typical internet user.

Imagine having a conversation with an educated man of 1950, or 1750. You explain to him that in the year 2014, the citizens of the world have every piece of information ever produced, available at the click of a mouse. The result? Plato collects dust while silly cat pictures grind server centres into ash. Mozart accumulates a few million views, while Miley Cyrus collects billions. The internet had the potential to bring education to the masses. Instead, it has demonstrated that the masses are not just uneducated – they are ineducable. A clear argument, as if any were needed, that 90% of mankind belongs in chains.

Only one question remains: What sort of man will you be? Will you allow your mind to atrophy into a thoughtless slave to clickbait? Or will you exercise your willpower, and harness the internet as a tool for self-improvement?

The Solution: An Information Diet

If you made it this far down the page, you are probably not one of the hopeless cases. Your brain is not yet gone to slop. But without a conscious and rigorous information diet, it will be.

The only cure for information overload is willpower, pure and simple. There are tools, tricks, and systems which can help you, and we’ll get to them at the end of this post.

But at the end of the day, you need to decide that you are a man who is in control of his own mind and body. You need to build your own information management system. You need to design an information diet which maximizes your intake of useful, actionable information from the internet, while minimizing the amount of time you spend online.

Let’s break it down into a three-step process:

Step 1) Decide which information sources are worthy of your time

I have about fifty blogs in my Red Pill RSS feed. I also stay current with a few podcasts, I’m active on Twitter, and I post regularly at the Roosh V Forum and on Reddit.

Does this sound like a lot to handle? Well, I’m a special case. I operate a website that curates and organizes the best Red Pill content, The Red Pill Review. I am also a generally weird guy who has always spent a disproportionate amount of reading obscure blogs.

I think I’m a better man for it, but I also recognize that this path is not for everyone. A more typical young man should narrow it down to the five or ten blogs that are most relevant to his life. If I had to choose the five best sources of positive, actionable information, I would suggest:

  1. Bold And Determined
  2. Danger and Play
  3. Good-Looking Loser
  4. Krauser
  5. Mark Manson

These are not necessarily the five “best” blogs, but they all have useful, positive, and actionable information, and they are written by men whose disciplined and positive mental outlook is infectious. You should also check out the weekly top ten at The Red Pill Review, to expose yourself to some new ideas and authors.

You can add a few more of your favourite writers to that list, but keep the number low. Cut out everything that isn’t worthy of your time. Exposing yourself to garbage information sources pollutes your mind, and taints your soul.

Step 2) Build a routine that allows you to consume and retain information as efficiently as possible

After you limit the information you’re consuming, the next step is to minimize the time you spend consuming it.

The best way to do this is to ‘batch’ your reading. You might be surprised how little time it takes to keep up with your favourite blogs, when you check them once per week instead of several times per day. There is no good reason for any man to check his RSS and Twitter feeds every day. I promise you will never miss out on anything, if you read one of my blog posts or tweets a day late.

There are other advantages too. If you set aside a specific time each week to sit down and read seven day’s worth of content, your brain will be able to absorb information faster, understand how concepts relate to each other, and single out the most important takeaways from each week’s worth of reading.

If you have a set weekly reading routine, you can also keep a notepad or Commonplace Book on hand to record and organize what you’ve learned. None of this is possible when you do all your blog reading on the subway, lying in bed, or crushing a three-pounder in the office toilet.

Step 3) Apply these principles to all of your information flows

Thus far, I’ve been writing specifically about managing your intake of Red Pill information sources. But the principles of information management should apply to every aspect of your personal and professional life.

How often do you check your personal email and Facebook? It shouldn’t be more than once a day.

These principles apply to your professional life as well. Most office workers would be much more productive (and happier) if they limited their email checking to once per hour.

Every person is different, but the core principle is that you should minimize your information intake, and then minimize the time you spend consuming that information. If you don’t adhere to that principle, you’re wasting precious hours of your life, and probably letting your brain waste away.

As an example, here is my information diet:

Monday

  • Catch up on a week’s worth of blog posts, tweets, comments, blog stats, forums, subreddits, and emails related to my “Jon Frost” persona.
  • Select the Red Pill Review top ten
  • (Optional) write a blog post or two

Tuesday

  • Catch up on a week’s worth of RSS entries and forum posts related to my business
  • Catch up on a week’s worth of personal email, social networks, and LinkdIn
  • Catch up on work email and phone calls
  • Complete my weekly planning, goal setting, and Weekly Review

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

  • Hard Focus Time
  • Zero RSS, Twitter, or other distractions
  • Minimal work email and phone.

Saturday and Sunday

  • Zero RSS, Twitter, or other distractions
  • Hard focus on finishing at least one challenging book

(It doesn’t always work out perfectly. This Saturday for example, I spent more time playing flip-cup with teenagers; drinking shots of whiskey and human breastmilk; and diving naked off rooftops into two feet of beautiful fresh powder; than I did finishing Journey To The End Of The Night. But this is always the ideal that I’m working towards.)

Other Tools And Resources

I’ve spent a lot of energy in my life trying to come up with information and productivity systems that maximize my output. Here are the most effective tools that I’ve come across:

Getting Things Done, by David Allen

This is the best book on productivity, organization, and time management that you will ever read. Getting Things Done is a simple and effective system that anyone can implement, to immediately increase their productivity and decrease stress.

The Four Hour Work Week, by Tim Ferriss

4HWW is a great book that is about much more than productivity. It was my personal introduction to a lot of new ways of thinking about work and life, so I will always have a soft spot for it. I re-read it at least once a year, and it has held up very, very well for a book about internet businesses written in 2006.

Use A Work Shutdown Ritual

This is an idea that I first encountered a long time ago, in a blog post from Cal Newport. It’s more of a tool to reduce stress during non-work hours, but reducing stress is an essential part of getting more done during your work hours. Here is the gist of Cal’s system:

“Here’s my rule: After I’ve uttered the magic phrase, if a work-related worry pops to mind, I always answer it with the following thought process:

  1. I said the termination phrase.
  2. I wouldn’t have said this phrase if I hadn’t checked over all of my tasks, my calendar, and my weekly plan and decided that everything was captured and I was on top of everything.
  3. Therefore, there is no need to worry.

To form a good ritual you just need three things:

  1. A quick series of steps for getting back on top of what’s going on in your student or working life; something you can do in 5 minutes at the end of each day.

  2. A phrase you say when you complete the ritual.

  3. An agreement with yourself that after you’ve said the magic words, the only acceptable response to a work-related thought is to think through the steps required for you to say the termination phrase.”

(I just finished Cal’s new book, So Good They Can’t Ignore You. It’s pretty good, and I have to recommend it because the title is a quote from one of the best biographies ever written.)

Leechblock is a Firefox plugin that forces you to set hard limits on which sites you can access, and when. It can be useful in the early stages of information withdrawal, when your willpower occasionally needs a kick in the ass.

Conclusion

I’m guessing that some of my readers have skimmed this article and made it to this final section while reading nothing more than the headings. If this describes you, trust me – you need this article more than anyone. Scroll back up and power through it. But if that’s too much, I’ll close with some bullet-point action items:

  • Reduce the amount of information you take in
  • Batch your information consumption so it takes up less time
  • Keep a notebook nearby so you can retain and organize information
  • Experiment with productivity systems so that you can accomplish more, in less time
  • For more information on how I organize my information diet, maximize my personal productivity, and generally kick ass in life, check out chapter four of The Thumotic Lifestyle Guide And 30-Day Challenge.

Now readers: Tell me about your information diet. What tools and mental re-frames have you used to cure yourself of bad productivity habits? Comments are open below, and I’ll get to them in exactly one week.

Tucker Max And Geoffrey Miller Hack The Manosphere

Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller have created a new blog: The Mating Grounds, which purports to teach men the truth about sex and dating. Here is the official story of how Mating Grounds was ideated:

At dinner, Geoff told Tucker’s how he’d heard of his books, and explained that he had to spend hours explaining to his nephews that they were not advice books.

Tucker “Well of course not, my books are just funny stories about the really stupid, ridiculous things I’ve done. Why do they think they’re advice???”

Geoff “Well, they’re all 14-20, and your writing is the only frank and honest thing they’ve ever read on sex and dating. There is nothing else that talks about these issues the way you do. In the absence of that, they use what they have, and they take your books as advice.”

Tucker “That’s fucking stupid, it’s not designed as advice! There must be something that explains sex and dating in a clear, informational way.”

Geoff “I have looked, quite extensively, for a book or something that honestly and frankly addresses the entire spectrum of sex, dating, women and relationships, especially for men. I have never found one. I have to spend hours answering their very basic questions about these issues.”

Tucker “No fucking way. This has to exist.”

Geoff “It doesn’t. I’ve looked.”

Geoff could not have looked very hard, certainly not as far as his own Twitter stream, if he managed to miss the Red Pill blogosphere. Max and Miller are a pair of smart guys, whatever else you might think of them. I’m skeptical that they failed to stumble across the Manosphere in their market research.

They also chose to call attention to their omission: “It doesn’t. I’ve looked.”

People got offended. Danger and Play, Sploosh, Dr. Illusion, Free Northerner, and others, got riled up and implored their readers to share their rage. Who the hell are Tucker Max and Geoff Miller to say that this community doesn’t exist? Who are these fucking guys, claiming with a straight face that there is no existing useful source of information on sex and dating for young men?

The Manosphere got angry. We got so angry, we just couldn’t resist hate-clicking, and hate-reading, and hate-sharing…

angrymorpheus

Perhaps you’ve caught on by now. If not, let me spell it out:

Put yourself in the shoes of Max and Miller, working on this new project.

You have a very specific target market: young and intelligent English-speaking men, who are interested in improving their relationships with women. You desperately want access to these men.

You note that the “Manosphere” or “The Red Pill” or whatever the hell they call themselves, contains hundreds of thousands of men who match your profile perfectly. Perhaps you are emboldened by this fledgling community’s generally low standard of design, internet marketing savvy, and centralization. The only question is: How do you gain access to their audience?

Well, you could buy an ad on Return Of Kings. You could email the prominent Red Pill bloggers, hat in hand, and request the addition of The Mating Grounds to their blogrolls. (While thinking: They still have blog rolls? What is this, 2008?)

If only there were a faster, easier way, to immediately get on the radar of the entire Red Pill community.

Remember, Tucker Max is good friends with the very smart guy who literally wrote the book on hacking the 21st century news cycle.

And here’s the best part. By “exposing” the gambit, all I’ve done is made it an even more compelling story. You feel intrigued right now. You want to share and discuss this post. Maybe you’re impressed by Max/Miller/Holiday, or maybe you just want to do some more hate-linking.  Either way, it serves their goals.

The Future of the Manosphere

Two things could happen now. Either The Mating Grounds will suck, or it won’t.

If The Mating Grounds tries to water itself down, it will suck. If Max and Miller try to build a useful, but still politically correct website, it will become The Good Mangina Project, redux. It will have some modest initial success, which it will owe to the big names attached to it, and then it will fade into obscurity.

Or – and here’s what I hope and predict – The Mating Grounds could be awesome. Max and Miller could realize that there is no bargaining with political correctness, that they will never earn the approval of the milquetoast deniers of human nature, and that their path forward is to embrace truth unconditionally. If they do this, I predict that they will bring some core Red Pill truths into the mainstream consciousness, and help millions of men.

But where does that leave the Manosphere market incumbents? Well, if your blog can’t survive in a market that now includes The Mating Grounds, maybe your blog doesn’t deserve to survive. Does that bother you?

Dear Red Pill blogger, if you write to educate and inspire the young men of our generation to greater heights, you should be relieved that others are taking up your burden. If your blog is a conduit for self-expression, or a tool for tracking and organizing your own thoughts, The Mating Grounds will not interfere with either of those goals.

However, if you write – as I suspect many do – out of a prideful desire to be regarded as an authority figure, out of a hunger for the anonymous status boost of being regarded as a “guru” by other men, then The Mating Grounds is an existential threat to your blog traffic, and the ego you derive from it. Which is fine by me.

Personally, I’m not worried in the slightest. I participate in the Red Pill community because I would occasionally feel extremely lonely without it. There are only so many twenty-something biohacking entrepreneur pick-up artist reactionaries out their in the world, and writing this blog is the only means I have of reaching out to them.

I’m also not worried about the fate of my favourite blogs. The best Manosphere authorities will continue to dominate their niches. Tucker Max’s testosterone ebook is a good basic introduction, but it’s nothing compared to the in-depth knowledge of Danger and Play and Pill Scout. As well, there will always be room in my RSS reader for men like Maverick Traveler, 30 Days To X, Laid NYC, and Kid Strangelove, who write honestly about their experiences walking the same path that I’m on.

Ultimately, there is no point in getting upset over the claim that The Mating Grounds owes nothing to the Red Pill Blogosphere. If Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller really are doing something original, something that truly does not yet exist, then I wish them all the best. If they are merely planning a PC repackaging of basic Red Pill truths, they will fade into obscurity soon enough, with or without my condemnation.

The Red Pill Review

Today is an exciting day, friends.

It is my great pleasure to announce the launch of The Red Pill Review: A complete guide to the Red Pill community.

Red Pill

The Red Pill Review is designed to be your gateway to all the best Red Pill content on the web.

Users can visit the website and immediately find:

  • Real-time RSS feed updates of recent posts from the Red Pill blogosphere.
  • Real-time Twitter updates.
  • The Top Ten Red Pill blog posts and podcasts from the previous week (updated every Sunday at 10pm).
  • A Red Pill reading list, updated regularly, with canonical Red Pill texts – from Aristotle and Seneca, to the books that have been published in recent years by talented contemporary Red Pill writers.

To browse a full list of posts from all the best blogs, visit (and bookmark) the Main Feed. To browse through a real-time feed of new blog posts on a specific topic, click on the Seduction, Lifestyle, and Reaction feeds.

Why Am I Doing This?

I built The Red Pill Review with three goals in mind:

  1. To provide a tool for readers to follow their favourite Red Pill blogs, and regularly expose themselves to new authors.
  2. To provide a channel for new Red Pill authors to quickly find their audience, and immediately receive feedback on their writing.
  3. To provide a platform for Red Pill authors to promote their books and products.

Each of these supports my ultimate goal of strengthening the Red Pill community as a tool for masculine self-development, and as a catalyst for the reactionary renaissance of Western Civilization.

You can learn more about the origins of Red Pill Review by reading the About page.

How Should I Use The Red Pill Review?

Great question.

Here’s how you shouldn’t use the new site. You shouldn’t use The Red Pill Review like a teenage girl uses Buzzfeed or Upworthy, randomly checking for new updates five times a day. You are a man, and hopefully you have better things to do with your time.

Personally, I am “Jonathan Frost” for just one day per week. I ignore all blog posts, tweets, emails, forums, subreddits, etc, on the other six days. This is called an information diet. It’s something I have been writing about for a long time, and you should optimize your own information diet if you haven’t already.

I have designed Red Pill Review for men who are disciplined enough to stick to a proper information diet. I have designed the site to please the daily or weekly reader, and to offend and alienate the casual click-bait addict. For example, you will notice that load times for the larger feeds are about ~3 seconds, because the feeds are collecting several days worth of content.

What Makes Red Pill Review The Best?

Nothing at all.

Of course I prefer the visuals, UX, and content of Red Pill Review to the alternative link aggregators. When you design and build your own site, that’s usually the result.

But, there are several other excellent link aggregation sites run by other smart and trustworthy guys, and I highly recommend you check out: Kid Strangelove’s Manosphere.com; Delusion Damage; Free Northerner‘s weekly link round up; and other sources of great Red Pill content such as Return Of Kings, The Red Pill on Reddit, Red Kings, and The Roosh Forum.

The only truly unique value proposition of The Red Pill Review is that I am the gatekeeper of what content makes the cut for inclusion. If your tastes and outlook on the world are similar to my own, you will get a lot of value from the new site.

However, if you are a squeaky-clean and sexless Neoreactionary, or a soul-less hedonist with no interest in preserving traditional Western Civilization, you’ll probably want to take your business elsewhere. The Red Pill Review is for men who recognize the synergy between Game, Masculinity, Self-Development, Traditionalism, and Truth.

It’ a small audience, perhaps. But, for those of you who match that description, welcome to your home: The Red Pill Review.

Bookmark The Main Feed and let’s get started.

Viva La Manosphere Is A Fraud

You’re probably familiar with Viva La Manosphere, a site run by a guy who calls himself Jack. The site collects links from around the Manosphere and displays them on his front page.

As of today, I want nothing more to do with Jack or his site. Why? Well, here are two websites about vegetable juicing for you to compare.

The first is Fit Juice.

Fit Juice is run by Mike, the author of Danger and Play. Mike has been writing about juicing since early 2012. He did the research, bought the juicers, and wrote about his experiences with the goal of helping other men get the same benefits he has experienced. It is not an exaggeration to say that without Mike, juicing would not be a ‘Manosphere thing’ at all. I’ve been reading MikeCF’s blog and forum posts for over three years now, and I would honestly be willing to write him a cheque for $10,000 for the value he’s offered for free, in terms of health, training, and life advice.

The second site is one that I recently found on the front page of Viva La Manosphere. You can check it out here. It is almost identical, page for page, right down to the web design. It’s not just another juicing blog. It’s the same content, page for page, with only slight modifications to prevent Google from flagging it as dupe content.

Jack has also taken the step of removing Danger and Play from the sites that he features on his link aggregating site, probably based on the very rational fear that casual readers will make a Fit Juice/ Juicing Hacks comparison, and recognize Jack for the fraud that he is. I would lay money he hasn’t juiced a single piece of produce in his life.

This post will probably put an end to the traffic I get from Viva La Manosphere, and that’s fine with me. Values are more important than a short-term boost in traffic and income. Also – and this is not a platitude, this is something I genuinely believe to be true and have observed often in my own life – ethical and value-giving businesses win out in the end.

Jack is not interested in giving value, and so I predict that he is on his way out.

I’m sure Jack will have his defenders in the blogosphere. Operating a popular website that sends bloggers a lot of traffic is a good way to maintain the loyalty of the venal and weak. But real masculinity demands a sense of community, loyalty, and honour. Being part of a gang, and giving due respect to your tribe is all part of The Way Of Men .

(Note that Jack Donovan is definitely not the same Jack who runs Viva La Manosphere.)

wayofmen

Other bloggers can react to this information however they want. But personally, I’m not going to keep linking to some carpet-bagging cunt of an internet marketer, stealing Mike’s content and passing it off as his own, all for the sake of a few hundred page views. If you want real information about juicing, check out the the original men’s juicing blog, www.fit-juice.com.

And if you want to read all your favourite Red Pill/Manosphere blogs in one place, get a free RSS reader (I use feedly) and subscribe to the writers whose content you don’t want to miss. Alternatively, check out the link aggregators at Delusion Damage and Hawaiian Libertarian, and follow Free Northerner for his weekly link round up.

If you’ve gotten any value from Danger and Play and the Red Pill community at large, do the right thing and remove Viva La Manosphere from your life.

The Six Habits That Make You A Man

I’ve made all kinds of mistakes in my life.

I spent four years fucking around in college. I backpacked around the world for a year like a dirty hippie when I should have been building my future like a grown man. I drank too much. I chased girls for the ego boost. I’ve slacked off in the pursuit of what I was put on this Earth to do.

These were the Five Mistakes I Made In My Early Twenties.

But – surprisingly – everything worked out great. Compared to the vast majority of men my age, I’m healthier, more financially secure, more successful with women, more knowledgeable, and surrounded by a network of high-quality friends and connections.

Despite the major screw-ups categorized in that post, I’ve still reached the age of twenty-eight with a great foundation for the rest of my life.

As I reflect on my life so far, I’ve realized that most of the good things that have happened to me have been the result of a few of simple habits. Simple doesn’t mean easy. But if you have the guts and the willpower to make the following six habits a part of your life, you will reach your late twenties in a much stronger position than your peers:

Habit #1 – Lift Weights

arnold-curls

When I was in grade seven, the girl I liked was attracted to a friend of mine. I was a chubby kid at the time, and my friend had cool six-pack abs. I looked in the mirror and decided I wanted to make my body look like his.

I designed a simple body-weight exercise routine for myself and finished it every day for the summer. By grade eight, I had slimmed down and looked pretty good for a natty twelve year old. In grade ten, I started serious barbell training and never looked back.

There are a lot of surface benefits to weight training that you’re already familiar with:

  • You will get bigger and stronger
  • You will get more attention from girls
  • You will get more respect and deference from other men
  • You will have better overall health and energy levels
  • Your athletic performance will improve
  • You will have a higher quality of life in old age

But the truly important consequence of resistance training is that it teaches you the most valuable lesson you’ll ever learn in your life:

If you don’t like something about yourself, it is within your power to change it.

Obviously there are limits to this statement. We all have our natural strengths and weaknesses. Not every man has it in himself to be a fitness model or competitive power lifter. But every man has the ability to be a better version of himself. Every man has the ability to be the best version of himself.

Resistance training is the most ennobling of habits, because it is the purest expression of masculine values: Strength; Self-discipline; Control over your station in life.

If you have never lifted weights before, buy Starting Strength and start the program. Keep a training log, get a workout partner, eat steak and green vegetables, and never look back.

Habit #2 – Approach Women

352_approach-women-like-a-pro_flash

A man must learn to accept rejection. Better yet, a man must learn to love rejection, and invite it into is life. Cold approaching women is the best way to cultivate this positive relationship with rejection.

You may never get over your fear of the approach. That’s OK. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway. My heart still pumps when I’m gearing up for an approach, and I’ve done hundreds if not thousands.

Being completely immune to approach anxiety and the sting of rejection is like bench pressing five hundred pounds. It is a near-superhuman feat that only a small number of men are capable of.

But, almost any man can bench press three hundred pounds after a few years of hard training. A max bench of three hundred would get you laughed out of a real power lifting gym, but it’s still more than the vast majority of men will ever lift.

Similarly, the ability to overpower your fear and approach cute girls can be learned by almost everyone. Try the Good-Looking Loser Approach Anxiety Program, or The Pill That Cures Approach Anxiety. Once you get your first number from a girl you don’t know, you’re already ahead of the majority of men in this area of your life.

You may not have a lot of success with cold approaching, at first. That’s OK. The purpose of cold approaching isn’t to get laid. Cold approaching is about Conquering Your Ego. Cold approaching is about developing Social Freedom. Men must learn to cold approach, because not being able to cold approach is a symptom that you have deeper issues with your own self-confidence

Tinder, Plenty Of Fish, OK Cupid, and whatever else the kids are using today – they are all valuable tools that have their uses. Cold approaching is not inherently better than Getting Laid On Plenty Of Fish or Tinder. But if you can’t walk up to a hot woman on the street and introduce yourself, that’s evidence of an internal obstacle you need to work on overcoming.

Habit #3 – Read Great Books

Essential.Books

Human beings have been writing about their experiences for ten thousand years. If you have a problem in your life, chances are someone has already solved it and written a book about it.

Don’t look at reading as a chore. Books are not obstacles to be overcome, they are tools that help you overcome obstacles. You don’t have to feel obligated to read the “right” books. Instead, think about the problems you’re facing in your life, and read books that help you solve them.

If you want to get healthier, read books about health and nutrition like The Paleo Manifesto.

If you want to get better with women, read Day BangSperm WarsModels and The Mating Mind.

If you want a lucrative and fulfilling career, read The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss, Getting Things Done by David Allen, How To Fail At Everything And Still Win Big by Scott Adams, and Choose Yourself by James Altucher.

If you want to learn about morality, epistemology, and the human condition, read Shakespeare, Hume, Seneca, Nietzsche, Aristotle, and The Bible.

But if you don’t want to read those books, don’t force it. At least not right away. Train yourself to love the written word, and revisit the ‘difficult’ books at a later age. For more reading recommendations, check out my page of Great Books For Men.

Habit #4 – Earn Good Friends

Most networking advice focuses on how to meet people.

This is fine as far as it goes. Small talk and basic etiquette are important skills to master.

But how do you go from being a guy who collects a lot of useless contact information, to being a man who has earned the friendship and loyalty of many high-value people?

Despite the fact that I’m often an extraordinarily difficult person to get along with, I’m fortunate to have many great friends. They are great people, from a morality and loyalty standpoint; They are great friends, in the sense that they have gone to great lengths to help me; and they are doing great things with their lives, with impressive careers and social circles of their own.

Why have my friends stuck by me, despite my long history of generally offensive, incendiary, socially inappropriate behaviour?

The only possible answer is that I bring more value into their lives than I take. Yes, I’ve ruined some parties and a wedding or two. Sure, I’ve broken some hearts. And there may have been a day of non-consensual hallucinogenic madness for some unwitting travel partners of mine in Laos, a story told in The 2012 End Of The World Tour.

Fear-and-Loathing-in-Las-Vegas-580x299

But beneath all of that, I have made a lifelong commitment to offering value to my good friends.

The only way to consistently earn the friendship and loyalty of other strong men is by genuinely being a helpful and self-sacrificing person. If you want to come across as genuine and value-giving, you must actually be genuine and value-giving. If you truly go about your life with the goal of helping your friends and colleagues achieve success, you will attract similar-minded people into your life.

Here are some practical habits you can adopt that will help you cultivate a high-value social circle:

  • Enter social situations with one question on your mind: How can I help this person? How can I make it easy for them to enjoy this interaction? How can I make this an exchange of value, and positive emotions?
  • Once a week, send an email to someone you don’t know well, and help them with something. Suggest a business idea. Introduce them to someone useful to their goals. If they wrote something that impressed you, tell them.
  • Find a protege. Someone younger than you, but who has the potential to be greater than you will ever be. Mentor that person and make their success one of your primary goals in life.
  • If you think you have enough wisdom and life experience to help out the anonymous and far-flung men of the Red Pill blogosphere, start a blog of your own.

Do these things, and you will eventually find yourself surrounded by successful people who will have your back and who will be eager to help you out, because they know that when it comes down to it, you’re going to do the same for them.

Habit #5 – Live With Less

makinitrain

An acquaintance once told me about his business idea. I told him he would need a website, which he could build and host for less than a hundred dollars. That’s less than one hundred dollars, for a potentially life-changing idea. Ultimately he never followed through. This guy has a $1500/month mortgage and a new car, but he doesn’t have a hundred dollars to spare on a new business endeavour that could have changed his life.

I never bought a fancy condo. I never drove a new car. I rarely buy electronics or other expensive toys. I use all the same sports equipment I had when I was 19. I’m almost thirty and I still live in what is basically a frat house. I get a new student ID every year so I can get discounts.

Most people live paycheque to paycheque, no matter how much money they make. If I lived like that, I would ever have been able to travel. I would never have been able to quit my job to start a business. I would have to count every dollar while out eating and drinking with friends and girls, rather than just letting the night flow.

Frugality is not about being “cheap.” In fact, frugality will free you from financial concerns and will allow you to be more generous.

I spend money prolifically in a few areas of my life. I buy tons of books, I eat out, I buy organic meat at twice the price of regular stuff. I’m able to be prolific on the important things that actually improve my life, because I’m cheap when it comes to the bullshit trappings of yuppie status-climbing.

When I’ve had to work nine-to-five jobs, I’ve saved between one quarter and one half of every paycheque. This has given me the freedom to leave those jobs whenever I’ve wanted to.

The last thing you want to be is the cheap guy who disappears whenever it’s his turn for a round. But if you have the self-control to rein in your spending on the unimportant status markers, you will have much more financial and time freedom to pursue what is actually important in your life.

Habit #6 – Prayer

atheist debate

Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and every other religious and spiritual tradition known to man, all strongly emphasize the importance of regular prayer. They may use different words, but the practice is the same: Quiet reflection on what we are grateful for, what we desire, and the cultivation of humility.

It would be very surprising if a habit practiced by civilized men throughout human history was not beneficial. Unsurprisingly, prayer (and variants such as meditation and gratitude journals) are regularly found to improve physical and mental well-being.

Prayer does not require a man to adopt a certain pose, recite a certain set of lines, or face in a certain direction. Many of my former athletic coaches insisted on a game day ritual of one hour spent silently visualizing what we wanted to happen on the field. Several people who I trust have reported shockingly powerful results from writing and reciting daily affirmations.

You can call your prayer habit “meditation,” or “gratitude,” or even Neurolinguistic Programming, if you are still tainted with a politically correct bias against Christianity and traditional Western Civilization.

Here are some simple steps to get started. A secular habit of daily prayer could go something like this:

  1. Recite a short mantra, to trigger a calm and meditative state
  2. Reflect on what you have to be grateful for from the day
  3. Reflect on any wrongs you have done. Ask for forgiveness, and grant it to those who may have wronged you.
  4. Reflect on what you currently desire in life. Humbly ask for help in fulfilling those desires.

(I am an agnostic and was raised in a thoroughly atheistic household, but I find this to be as good a mantra as any.)

meditation-6

Conclusion

Life isn’t easy, but it’s also not complicated. If you follow the six habits outlined in this post in your early adulthood, you will reach your late twenties in a very strong position. You will be healthier, wealthier, happier, and more socially successful than the majority of other men.

Maybe that sounds too easy.

But it really is that easy, because the men of our generation are broken. They are fat and weak; they are ignorant; they are impulsive; they are selfish; and they are fearful. If we lived in a healthy society, it would take more than these six simple habits to rise to the top. We don’t, so it doesn’t.

Five Mistakes I Made In My Early Twenties

The wise man learns from someone else’s mistakes, the smart man learns from his own, and the stupid one never learns. – Russian Proverb

I've made a huge mistakeI’ve had quite a bit more success in life than most twenty-eight year olds. But I’ve also endured some self-inflicted setbacks. I don’t dwell on these mistakes, but I do try to learn from them. If you’re a young man trying to figure out life, maybe you can learn from them too.

Here are five mistakes I made in my early twenties, and how you can avoid making them yourself:

Mistake #1: Taking A Gap Year

Shortly after finishing school, I spent a year traveling through Southeast Asia, India and Europe. It was an incredible experience. It opened my eyes to the sort of life I wanted to live. I met generous and interesting people all over the world, friends who I hope to stay in contact with for life. I wrote a book. I became a better person.

But, I made one big mistake during my time abroad: I treated it like a “Gap Year.” I spent too much of my time partying, chasing girls, sightseeing, and dicking around.

It was a lot of fun, but I should have spent more of my time learning, writing, working, and seeking out business opportunities. I don’t regret my decision to spend a year traveling. But I should have approached that year with more focus, and with more commitment to personal growth. Instead, I treated it like a vacation.

But no twenty-something deserves a vacation. I would even say no thirty-something deserves a vacation. Weekend in Vegas? Sure. A month or two of backpacking to celebrate a major life milestone? OK. But no long-term travel for its own sake, no mini-retirements, and no “gap years” when you’re a young man – wait until you’ve earned it. Don’t become the filthy 38-year old hippie trying to bargain with the owner of a $3/night hostel.

Dirty hippies need a good "Kent State" education

Mistake #2: Letting Alcohol Control Me

Between the ages of seventeen and twenty-three, I drank and partied heavily several nights a week. My entire social life revolved around alcohol. I spent almost half my waking hours either drunk or hungover.

The crazy thing is that my drinking habits were only a bit above average in my peer group. I played rugby at a big college, and ran with a few hard-partying circles. As a result, my behaviour felt completely natural.

I’m not anti-alcohol. Drinking is fun, and it’s often a necessary part of building relationships with friends, girls, and clients. The health effects of somewhat-responsible drinking habits are not severe.

But when I reflect on the hours, days, and years of my life that I’ve lost, I realize that I should have drank much, much less. I should have resisted the college binge drinking culture that so many of us accept as ordinary, without even thinking about it.

Total Frat Move

Mistake #3: Having Sex With Mediocre Girls

I’ve slept a lot of women in my life. Definitely over a hundred, and maybe closer to two.

Why?

Well, sex is a lot of fun. So is The Chase, and of course, The Validation.

But among my conquests, I would guess that roughly 10% were really and truly memorable. 40% were nice to have. And fully half were not even worth the trouble. I’ve had some great experiences with some incredible women, but I’ve also had a lot of mediocre sex with a lot of mediocre girls.

How many nights did I spend time and money chasing fresh tail, when I had girls waiting for a call, who were of better quality than 90% of what was at the bar?

How many relationships with amazing girls did I ruin because my ego demanded variety?

How many casual lays did I keep in the rotation just so I could feel like a cool-guy player?

The Good-Looking Loser has a great post on Guys Who Get Laid versus Guys Who Get Validation. In my late twenties, I’m realizing that most of the pussy I chased in my youth, I chased for the validation.

Yes, I wanted to get laid. But more than that, I wanted to be the guy who got laid. I wanted the respect of the girls, friends, and complete strangers whom (I hoped) saw me as the “cool player guy,”

As a result, I over-valued variety, above and beyond what I really wanted. I got sucked into chasing Validation, instead of satisfaction, happiness, and meaning.

In addition to the Validation Trap, the life of the player is inherently risky. Pregnancies, STDs, false rape accusations, and other hazards are out there. The risks are worth it, for the quality girls. But most girls are not worth the time it takes to fuck them, let alone risking the rest of your life.

Just to be clear: The last thing I want to do is push guys away from the seduction community. All young men should be learning game, approaching girls, and working on the skills they need to sleep with attractive women.

What I am saying is this: Look inside and ask yourself if you’re chasing girls for sex, or validation. If sleeping with hundreds of girls isn’t what you truly want, don’t do it. If you value quality over quantity, go out hunting with a sniper rifle instead of a P90.

Target acquired

Mistake #4: Not Writing Enough

This bullet will surprise those who know me. I’ve written hundreds and thousands, maybe even millions of words, over the past decade. I’ve written blogs, books, columns, journals, and even some truly awful poetry.

But no matter how much time I’ve spent writing, I wish I’d spent more. Writing forces me to organize my thoughts. It builds mental rigour, and my habit of writing publicly in the Red Pill/Manosphere/Dark Enlightenment has introduced me to an incredibly valuable network. I’ve gotten so much help from so many people, and I’ve hopefully been able to give back some as well.

I highly recommend that all young men develop the habit of writing often. Writing a private journal is a great way to start. Once you’re comfortable with your ability to express yourself, start a blog of your own.

Mistake #5: Going To College

My college experience was better than most. I got a BComm at a mediocre school and a Master’s in Econ from a good one. I left college debt-free, after getting a free ride through undergrad. I got a great job in my field right out of school. I made a lot of lifelong friends in college, and I had an absolutely amazing time (see mistakes #2 and #3).

Still, if I could go back in time and talk to my eighteen year old self, I think I would tell him to skip the entire post-secondary education charade entirely. I suppose I got a lot out of my education, and it definitely opened up doors for me, but what about the opportunity cost? What else might I have done with those five years?

At the ripe old age of twenty-eight, and after having made a career change into a completely unrelated field, I think I would have been better off if I had skipped college entirely.

Young men, the world is full of opportunity. Not much of it can be found on the politically correct and bureaucratic diploma mills that litter the American continent. Unless you’re earning a marketable degree from a top school, skip college and go do something real with your life.

Toga! Toga! Toga!

Conclusion

As you can see, I’ve really and truly fucked up a few major areas of my life throughout my early- and mid-twenties. I’ve made several major mistakes that have held me back, and cost me several years of my life.

But I don’t dwell on my mistakes, because I’ve managed to build a great foundation for life in my twenties despite them.

How I did that is the subject of a follow-up post: The Six Habits That Make You A Man.

Thumotic Readers: What mistakes have you made in your life? What were the consequences? What new habits have you adopted to correct your path? Please provide some background for context, including your approximate age.

The Beta Coin Bubble

Bitcoin! Freedom Baby, Yeah! It’s all very groovy.

I’m cheering for Bitcoin. I really am. But, the majority of present-day Bitcoinistas are likely to wind up impoverished, imprisoned or immolated at the stake in the public square.

Bitcoin is too much of a threat, to a global elite that relies on fiat currency for much of its power, for them to leave Bitcoin unmolested for much longer. The Progressive establishment has run the world for the better part of a century. They’re not about to let a bunch of pasty geeks eat their dinner without a fight.

How will the progressive establishment destroy Bitcoin? Let’s think like tyrants.

The US government could declare Bitcoin a national security threat and announce its intention to prosecute all Bitcoin users as money launderers. How sympathetic would the public be, if gangs of terrorists were discovered trading in Bitcoins? Or a child porn ring? Maybe they’re holding focus groups as I type, to pinpoint the most emotionally resonant cause, upon which they might lash the anti-Bitcoin initiative.

The Bitcoin Faithful have a tendency to view the conflict between Bitcoin and the US Dollar as a sporting match between technological standards. Mac Vs. PC! HD-DVD Vs. Blu-Ray! But the reality is that Bitcoin is a direct assault on one of the most important tools that our ruling oligarchy wields – the power to control currency. They’re not going to let it go without a fight, and they have guns. Also, robot wolf-bears:

But here’s the real reason why I am inherently (wolf-) bearish on the eventual fate of Bitcoin: It is a currency for Beta Males.

Consider the typical bitcoin user: White, male, tech-y, libertarian or neoreactionary conscience, reader of Hacker News, law-abiding citizen and productive member of society. In other words, he is a completely un-diverse, un-progressive, nice guy. He is the least cool, least hip, most privileged person in the world. In the end, Bitcoin ownership may actually serve the progressive elite well as a useful binary marker of who pack off to the Gulag.

gulag_map

Some say the US Dollar and The Cathedral it finances are dying. They are too optimistic. The Cathedral has no shortage of bright and tech-savvy allies willing to sell their souls for a slice of power. Google, Apple, Facebook, and many others will be lining up to kiss the ring. Neoreaction will be lucky if we can recruit Snapchat. The bad guys have hackers too.

And it’s not like the only players in the game are The US Dollar and Bitcoin.

I’m told there are a number of good old-fashioned corn-fed boys out in flyover ‘Murica. Their future looks bleak to me, but they do have a lot of guns, and they probably make up a majority of the US Armed Forces. Their preferred currency, if they’ve even considered the question, is physical gold and silver.

There are also the foreign candidates. China? Russia? La Raza? Will Canada finally cast off two centuries of politeness and assert her rightful claim over the entirety of British North America? Predictions are hard, especially about the future.

But I am fairly confident that whoever winds up in power, their first order of business will be to destroy Bitcoin. Doing anything else would be leaving money on the table.

You see, currency is a coordination game. If everyone is using silver, you want to use silver. If everyone is using bitcoins, you want to use bitcoins, etc.  In a theoretical world with many independent agents, choosing a currency to put your savings into requires predicting everyone else’s behaviour. But in the real world, sometimes one person has the power to enforce his will on everyone else.

For example, what would happen if Russia introduced the “RubleCoin”, a cryptocurrency controlled by the Russia government, and insisted its citizens conduct all saving and transaction in RubleCoins? What if China did the same? What if some enlightened US President (or coup leader) recognized the imminent failure of the global financial system, and acted to create the DollarCoin, a bitcoin clone issued by the USG?

The result would be a world with all the benefits of the Bitcoin, but without the massive one-time transfer of global wealth to a bunch of Hacker News and Dark Enlightenment dorks. Myself included.

As I said, I think Bitcoin is a great idea. I own Bitcoins. I’m cheering for Bitcoin. The intelligent, curious, tech-savvy, risk-taking people who currently own Bitcoins are a more worthy collection of Aristocrats than any competitor. But history will screw them, because they have chosen to put their faith in justice and a good idea. They think that because they are right, they will succeed. But the Bitcoin nerds would be wise to heed the words of Freda Utley:

“Do not to expect the material rewards of unrighteousness, while engaged in the pursuit of truth.”

Sell your Bitcoins today, if you own them for any reason other than that it’s the right thing to do. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a beta’s face forever.

Willpower Is A Muscle

The human body is physically capable of far greater feats than it typically allows us to perform. Women who can’t deadlift 135lbs in a gym, have lifted thousand-pound cars off their children in life-threatening situations.

The ability to access the best of our abilities is called willpower. A lack of willpower is the most common reason why self-improvement efforts fail. Getting in shape, making more money, approaching more women, reading difficult books – none of these habits come naturally or easily. Your higher-self must bully your pain-avoiding id into taking the difficult first step.

Willpower is a muscle

When you use willpower to resist temptation, it will be harder to resist a subsequent temptation. Your willpower muscle is tired. However, if you exercise your willpower on a regular basis it will grow strong, just like any other muscle.

I have a friend who went through some very rigorous training for an elite branch of the armed forces. After spending weeks in the bush eating bugs, freezing, barely sleeping, hiking all day, and forcing himself to be alert every second when every cell in his body screamed for rest, do you think he ever has a problem waking up to get to work on time?

Using a less extreme example, I spent my youth and early twenties training year-round on competitive rugby, football and hockey teams. After running up hills until you vomit, doing push-ups in the mud in full gear for hours, and getting the crap kicked out of you on the field every week, little things like walking up to a girl and saying hello don’t seem as scary.

Willpower is the great equalizer

I was never a great natural athlete. I’m not quick, I drop passes, and I’m not even particularly strong for my size. But, I was often able to play at a level much higher than I should have, because of my willpower muscle. I was the guy who started weight training at fifteen, knew the playbook inside out, and gave 100% in every practice. As a result I started ahead of guys who probably had enough natural ability to go pro, if they had combined their talent with a great work ethic.

This is how life usually is. Willpower often determines who succeeds and who doesn’t. Contrary to naïve blank slatism, natural ability is a real thing. 10,000 hours of practice is not all that stands between a typical Kalahari bushman and a theoretical physics sinecure at MIT.

But, the vast majority of men with the natural ability to do great things will not put in the effort. This leaves the playing field wide open to men with moderate levels of natural ability, and above-average willpower.

willpower

Krauser has been taking flak from the internet tough guys for his 2.7% conversion ratio. Which is bullshit. 2.7% is a fine conversion rate. For a man hitting on top-tier women, 2.7% is about 2.8% higher than 95% of men could achieve.

As LaidNYC writes:

“2.7%  is a great fuck rate for daygame, especially for an average looking guy approaching girls obviously more physically attractive than himself, and up to 20 years younger.  In some cases, the girls he’s approaching are knockouts.  Can you imagine Krauser’s conversion rate on women his own age?  Dear god.

And remember these are sober hot girls, approached flat cold on the street with the intent of sex.  A big ask.

More telling is the 250 phone numbers he got.  Approaching a hot girl on street cold and getting a number 25% of the time is huge feat.  Anyone who daygames can attest to that.

It’s only a “numbers game” if you have skill. Losers will always get zero pussy no matter how many girls they talk to.”

But even if your conversion rate is higher than 2.7% – who cares?

Some men have a seemingly magical natural ability to attract women. Other men have either low standards or low self-esteem, and so shoot for girls well below their league.

The best natural seducer I’ve ever known hardly ever approaches girls. His conversion ratio is probably higher than 100%, i.e. he has banged eleven girls for every ten he has approached. He has a natural animal magnetism that I can’t completely understand, let alone explain. He’s killing it, but imagine how far he could go with a bit of effort.

When I first got into pickup, my ratio was considerably higher than 2.7% because I wasn’t afraid to settle for sixes and sevens, and I was afraid to approach nines and tens. My “stats” were good because I was imposing limitations on which girls were “in my league.” Men with good conversion ratios aren’t better seducers. They just aim low, put in less effort, and only take the sure thing.

I would bet that the guys slagging Krauser for his ratio are either a) complete frauds who never approach, or b) guys like my former self who fear rejection from top-tier women, and so choose to swim in ponds small enough that they don’t threaten their egos.

Rejection ratio means nothing. Would you be willing to accept 37.037037 rejections in exchange for a night with her?

reRuXHo

Time for a thought experiment. Let’s pretend that Krauser’s actual conversion ratio is not 2.7%, but 0.27%. Let’s also pretend that he pursues any girl who is OK-looking (5/10) or above.

If this were true, Krauser’s conversion ratio would indicate that there is something fundamentally unattractive about him. Something must be seriously wrong with a man who has studied and practiced game for years, who opens average looking girls, and closes just one quarter of one percent of them. Such a man is either ugly, or very socially awkward.

I have met Krauser as a matter of fact and he is neither of these things, which is why he closes 2.7% of top-tier girls rather than 0.27% of warpigs. But I can think of two men off the top of my head who were probably still closing <1% of their prospects after several years and thousands of approaches: The two men who built modern pick-up culture, Mystery and Tyler Durden.

You may have already seen this short video of Mystery sending an awkward winky face Snapchat to some girl he’d met. You’ve probably also seen Tyler Durden speak in various RSD videos. If you haven’t, you should watch Tyler Durden’s Blueprint Decoded DVD series, available at a torrent site near you.

It’s clear to me that Mystery and Tyler – who have spent at least as much time in the field than anyone else on the planet – still come across as fundamentally weird. Mystery’s winky face is painful to watch. Tyler starts off the Blueprint by excusing the fact that he is 20lbs overweight by telling the audience that he is doing a ‘bulk.’ I don’t even think he’s joking.

Mystery and Tyler Durden are, at their absolute core, weird guys. They are socially awkward. I have watched some recent RSD videos in which Tyler comes across as much more naturally confident and centred, but it took him a decade and tens of thousands of hours of practice to get there. Mystery apparently still hasn’t figured it out.

mystery pickupartist

Our gut reaction is to mock men like Mystery and Tyler, even though they have both slept with countless beautiful women. They have accomplished something we all desperately want, but we want to call them losers because they had to work really hard for it. When their old socially awkward selves shine through, we want to think: “Hah! Look at you! Sure you are good with women today – but look how far you came! Dork!”

When you learn to look for it, you start to see this attitude everywhere. We mock effort. We look down on people who dare to actually give a shit. We downplay our work ethic, to make our accomplishments appear effortless. We mock anyone who reveals high effort, because doing so implies: I am more naturally talented than you. It is a classic Argumentum Ad Amog.

Why do we do this? Consider an equation:

Effort (E) * Ability (A) = Results (R)

The rest of the world can usually observe (R). If you know a man’s E and R, you can solve for A.

A man can maximize his perceived (A) by minimizing his perceived (E).

A man can minimize his perceived (E) by mocking the (R) of any man who dares to reveal his own (E) and (R).

“Dude, you only slept with 2.7% of the girls you approached after years of practice and thousands of sets? That’s pretty pathetic.”

Translation: “I am an alpha male with higher-than-average natural ability with women. I am, at my core, a better seducer and a better man than you. Perhaps I haven’t put in the same effort as you, but surely if I did, my results would be superior.”

I once posted on this blog that my lift total was just over 1,000lbs. Someone submitted the post to Reddit and a bunch of commenters had a laugh at that number. I know it’s not jaw-droppingly impressive, but it’s enough that I’m lifting heavier than 90% of the men in the gym on any given day. And the gym is a sample of men who lift heavier than 90% of the men who are not in the gym. So who were these internet tough guys who reacted as if I’d written that I lost a wrestling match to a three-legged kitten?

A friend of mine from a year behind me in school once said to me:

“[Frost], I am a much better athlete than you. I won the [athletic award which I had won the year prior] without ever going to the gym! Imagine how much better I’d have been if I had trained like you!”

But I readily admit that my friend has more natural athletic ability than me. He is the King of Unfulfilled Potential. So what’ does he win? As it turned out, his prize was getting cut from week two of training camp because he couldn’t handle the regimen, while I went on to start in my first year of college.

Lack Of Willpower Preserves Your Ego

Models of willpower are usually based on time preference. Can you hold back from eating one marshmallow today, in exchange for two marshmallows tomorrow?

But there’s another angle. Poor effort is a means of preserving your ego.

Our egos are very sensitive about our natural ability. Ego doesn’t care about results, as long as we leave open the possibility that our natural ability is high:

  • “Imagine how great I would be at this sport if I actually practiced!”
  • “I got bombed the night before the exam and still got a B!”
  • “It’s easy and profitable to write basic self-improvement advice with lots of Amazon links, I’m going to stop trying to write important and meaningful posts that people truly care about!”

The first step to building a strong will is to get rid of the unhelpful belief that effort is a bad thing. To do this, you must get over the fear of discovering the limits of your finite potential.

Modern society teaches us that everyone is capable of everything. We know in our gut that this is a lie, but we still build up our egos around this mythical unlimited potential. In our adult lives, this paralyzes us. It causes us to limit our effort, so that our natural ability always remains an unknown property.

The reality is this: You were born, and you will die.

No one cares about you.

You will probably never do anything lasting or important.

But, you are here and you don’t have anything else to do – so you might as well find out what you’re capable of.

The Willpower Workout Program

Every man’s life should include a regimen of intense strength training and/or martial arts. Exercise will give you more energy, clear your head, and make you look good, but most importantly it will train you to exercise your willpower in all other aspects of your life. As for martial arts, how much can you really know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?

In my experience, the best willpower exercise in the gym is to load up a squat rack with whatever you consider to be a warm-up weight and do sets of 20+. There is no limit to how many reps you can do once you’re over 20. If you did 28, you could have done 29. If you did 35, you probably could have done 40. So load up that squat rack, and go explore your absolute limits. If you do it right, you may vomit, or cry, or shit yourself, or collapse, or have to take a day off work. But you’ll be a better man for it.

Another way to build up your willpower is to take cold showers or ice baths. Cold water immersion has multiple health benefits, especially when alternated with a sauna, but it is also a good willpower exercise. Cold showers suck. You will want to get out as soon as possible. Resist the urge, stay with the pain, and emerge tougher than you were.

Anything that sucks, that you have to continuously choose to do in the moment, is good willpower practice. Don’t do something stupid like pour lye on your hand, as there are plenty of painful habits that actually improve your life. But make sure to get out there and do things that you don’t want to do.

Habits

There are three elements to willpower.

The first is getting rid of limiting beliefs (i.e, effort is bad).

The second is practice. Lift heavy weights, approach girls out of your league, risk being socially awkward. Do things that suck and build your willpower muscle.

The third is habit. You can design your life in such a way to to limit the necessity of willpower in your daily routine.

For example, when my alarm goes off, I count down from ten while lying in bed. It doesn’t take much willpower to start the countdown, and once I reach zero, I know that I have to get up. It sounds silly but this little trick makes waking up in the morning much easier and more consistent. As I write this, I realize that this hack could easily be applied to overcoming approach anxiety as well.

Lying to yourself can also be useful. My diet is gluten-free, despite never having had any issues with gluten digestion. Are there really magical health benefits to avoiding gluten entirely? Maybe. But there are magical health benefits to eliminating beer and all processed carbohydrates. Gluten is like Jesus. Real or not, believing the mythos will make you a better man.

Tracking and measurement are also essential, as I wrote in my post on How To Set Goals. If you get distracted by the internet too much, don’t worry about limiting your number of Twitter/Reddit/Facebook ‘checks’ per day. Instead, just start tracking and writing down each time you break off for a 30-second dopamine distraction hit. What gets measured, gets managed.

Resources

I have read many books on productivity systems and workflow, but none has ever topped the classic Getting Things Done by David Allen. If you struggle with your focus and work habits, this book will change your life.

How To Set And Achieve Goals

Setting intelligent goals is one of the most important habits that a young man can cultivate in his life. This post will teach you to go about setting and achieving goals that will increase your productivity, your focus, and your self-awareness.

If you don’t have goals, you are coasting through life. You will probably become an unwitting slave to someone else, someone with specific goals in life and a plan to realize them. If you do the exercises in this post, you will watch your life start to get much, much better. It’s that simple.

Before we get to the exercises, here are the three primary benefits of smart goal-setting.

1) Self-Awareness

Most people have no idea what they want out of life. Almost everyone thinks they know exactly what they want, but ask them to their face – or better yet, ask them to put it down on paper – and suddenly their minds go blank.

Writing down your long term goals isn’t just an exercise in writing. It’s an exercise in introspection and self-analysis. Writing clarifies thought and forces intellectual rigour. As Paul Graham wrote: Writing doesn’t just communicate ideas; it generates them. Writing down goals transforms them from a soupy mash of vague thoughts and feelings in your brain, into concrete words on paper.

2) Visualization

I read The Secret and it changed my life. No, I’m kidding. But I did read The Secret and thought it had a lot of good advice, regardless of whether or not I believe in magical brain vibrations.

For the unenlightened reader, The Secret argues that visualizing what you want in life and concentrating on your desired end state, will send good vibrations into the universe, and the universe will then reward you with whatever you want.

Is this bullshit? Almost certainly. But the human mind and body are strange and wonderful pieces of machinery. Sugar pills can have amazing positive effects on our health. Believing that we are smarter or luckier can make it so. The excellent book Think and Grow Rich recommends the same practice as The Secret, without insulting your intelligence.

3) Planning

Rigorous goal-setting forces you to be meticulous with your planning, realistic with your expectations, and constantly aware of whether your daily habits are helping or hindering your progress towards your goals.

Goal-setting also involves tracking progress, setting milestones, and taking reality checks to keep you focused on progressing towards whatever your end goal is. It’s impossible to plan for the distant future, if you’ve never even considered it.

Now let’s all look at a picture of a pretty girl, and consider what her goals in life might be. Or whatever.

MqiMEbE

The rest of this post breaks down the goal-setting exercises that I’ve found to be the most valuable in my life. These exercises will take you a long time, possibly a full day of hard work.

If you’re a young man, or you’re in a rough spot in life, these exercises will provoke some hard questions. The answers may be painful, but these are necessary conversations for you to have with yourself. If you’re a man who generally has his shit together, they will help you clarify the path you’re on, identify the incremental improvements you can make, and set yourself up for a new year of ass-kicking on an unprecedented scale.

Go into as much detail as possible on each exercise, and be completely honest with yourself.

The Goal-Setting Exercises

1) Skills and values inventory (2-3 pages)

What do you like to do? What do you not like to do?

What are you good at? What aren’t you good at?

2) Long term visualization (5+ pages)

Describe yourself in twenty years. What have you accomplished? How do you spend your time? What are your plans for the future?

What are your daily habits, specifically those that contributed to your success?

Write with rich and specific descriptions. Write about your house, your family, your job/company. Close your eyes and really picture it. Now do the same exercise twice more, picturing yourself one year from now, and one month from now.

3) The Plan (5+ pages)

Recall your future self in exercise #2.What path did you take to get there? Imagine you’re giving an interview for a magazine profile. Tell your life story, the steps you took to achieve what you did, and the major obstacles along the way.

4) The Goals

Now you have a clear picture of the man that you want to be. You know what your future holds, and you know what steps you have to take to get there. The final portion of the exercise is to translate that picture into specific, realistic and measurable goals. There are two types of goals: Process-oriented and results-oriented.

Results-oriented goals are of the form:

  • Deadlift 405 lbs
  • Sign $50,000 in new contracts
  • Sleep with twenty new girls

While process-oriented goals are of the form:

  • Go to the gym three days a week
  • Cold call at least 100 potential new clients
  • Go out and approach at least two nights per week

You should create a mix of results- and process-oriented goals. Process goals have the advantage of being 100% under your control, but Results goals have the advantage of being results.

For both types, set goals that are challenging but attainable.

Put a specific time limit on your goals. For example, deadlift 405lbs by March 1st. Go to the gym three days a week for all of January.

Track your goals. Make spreadsheets and commit to filling them out on a regular basis. What gets measured, gets managed.

You should also divide your goals into categories. In The Thumotic Lifestyle Guide, I break life down into five categories: Health, Wealth, Sex, Focus, and Purpose. My philosophy is that a man should tackle each area of his life in that order. You won’t be successful in your career if you let your health deteriorate; it’s stupid too spend twenty hours a week approaching if you’re broke and can’t do a single pull-up; if you’re a 25-year old virgin, you have more important things to do than read Herodotus. You should not ignore every other aspect of your life while focusing on whichever one you’re at, just make sure to prioritize them in that order: Health, Wealth, Sex, Focus, Purpose.

Speaking of sex, this post is getting long and were about to wrap up, so here’s another girl:

28OYCwb

Thumotic readers, the new year is upon us. The final piece of goal-setting wisdom that I will pass on to you is this: Do not go blabbing about your goals to every friend and family member you know. The majority of them will resent you for your efforts at self-improvement, and you will be less likely to follow through on your goals if you wallow in the good feelings of telling everyone about them. Save that dopamine for when you’ve actually done something. You’ll note that I haven’t shared my own goals for the new year, but I will say that it looks like it will be a big Q1 2014 and hopefully an even bigger Q2-Q4.

If you have any questions about any of these exercises, fire away. Also feel free to share your own approaches to goal-setting and performance tracking.

A Series On Rape, Whether You Like It Or Not

May I have your consent to share with you my recent series on false rape accusations? Remember, the safe word is ALT + Left Arrow.

We started earlier this month with How To Avoid A False Rape Accusation.

Since then, I’ve published three articles over at Return Of Kings:

1) The Truth About False Rape Accusations

A meta-analysis by Rumney (2006) suggests that between 10-50% of rape allegations are false. Other studies have arrived at figures as high as 90%, such as Stewart (1981), who considered one case disproved because: “It was totally impossible to have removed her extremely tight undergarments from her extremely large body against her will.”

2) False Rape Accusations Force Men To Be Nice Guys

The end result is that men have one rational response to the growth of false rape accusations: We must become nice guys. We cannot go around being assholes, having a laugh, saying whatever crazy shit we feel like, because there are now serious legal repercussions to hurting the feelings of emotionally unstable women. We must become nice guys.

3) Rape Culture Is A War On Men

Today, we’re going to finish it off with a bang. We’re going to dive into an analysis of the political nature of the 21st-century ‘rape culture’ movement. We’re going to dissect some feminists (using the beluga whale-grade flensing knife) and examine some of the beliefs rattling around in their heads, underneath those softball helmets and Justin Bieber haircuts. Consider this your first and only ***Trigger Warning*** that there will be pictures of feminists below. I apologize in advance to Return of Kings readers with sensitive stomachs.

It’s a must-read series, both for the modern young man who values his freedom, and for the lessons to be learned about how the Left operates.

On another topic, what articles would you like to see from Thumotic in 2014? Put another way, what is the #1 problem that is holding you back in life right now? Comments are welcome.

How To Learn Game In One Week

Every straight man alive in the 21st century needs to learn Game. This post will teach you all the Game you need to derive 80% of the potential benefits. Where you go from there is up to you.

First of all: What is Game?

Let’s start with what it’s not:

  • Game is not shiny pendants and cheesy pickup lines
  • Game is not solely useful for finding one-night stands in clubs
  • Game is not being an asshole, lying to girls, acting “fake”
  • Game is not irrelevant to men in long term relationships
  • Game does not require you to look and act like a doofus

Game is actually incredibly simple. It’s just the study of how your behaviour affects women. Are you interested in women? Yes? Than you’re interested in Game. It doesn’t matter if you want to rack up notches, or keep your wife of 15 years sweet, fit and sexually available – learn game, and your life will get a whole lot easier.

I’m going to break down the study of Game into a program that you can easily finish in a single week. Ditch class, call in sick to work and give away your XBOX. If you’re not currently 100% satisfied with your sex life, I guarantee there is nothing else you can do that will have anywhere near as high of a return on your long-term happiness.

Step 1: Re-learn the basics of human psychology

Before you can attract women, you must understand them. Unfortunately, you have been taught many lies about the subtleties of the human mind, one of which is that men just can’t understand women. While this claim is widespread in our culture, the reality is that women are not at all hard to understand, for a man who has the proper tools.

Our first tool, and first homework assignment, is the original classic popular text of Evolutionary Psychology: Richard Dawkins’ The Selfish Gene.

This book will show you the true nature and origins of human thought, and hopefully erase decades of programming (more often implicit than stated) that human behaviour is environmentally determined and infinitely malleable.

Following Dawkins’ classic, familiarize yourself with a few other texts. Robert Wright’s The Moral Animal, and Matt Ridley’s The Red Queen are both well worth your time.

On day 3, move on to the most relevant sub-field of Ev Psych: Direct applications to sex and relationships. Read these two books: Sperm Wars by Robin Baker and David Buss’s The Evolution Of Desire. Sperm Wars in particular is required reading. If you read one book from this list, make sure that’s the one.

At this point, hopefully you’ll have figured out that most of the conventional wisdom on sex and dating is bullshit. In order to cement your newfound distrust of purely environmental explanations of human behaviour, pick up a copy of Stephen Pinker’s The Blank Slate on day four and read that along with E.O. Wilson’s canonical On Human Nature. Finish the evening with a glass of wine and Robert Green’s The Art of Seduction, which is not an Ev Psych text but a fun and useful read nonetheless.

Step 2: Learn the Skills

So now you’ve got a solid understanding of the evolutionary origins of human behaviour. This will come in handy in almost every aspect of your life. For now though, we’ll just apply it to women. We’re going to move on to some actual seduction material.

On Day 5, start with the Fast Seduction Player Guide and The Mystery Method. Also grab a copy of The Game for some history.

There are literally millions of pages of forum posts and shitty e-books out there filled with pickup lines, routines, tactics, scams, cons, gambits, flim-flams, strategems and bamboozles. Most of them are worthless. Some are a mixed bag. A small slice, such as those listed above, are well worth reading.

But the ROI to learning more diminishes rapidly. Instead of getting bogged down in endless over-analyzing, read the above sources, pick up a copy of Bang and Day Bang for something written in the 21st century, and then stop reading and go live your life. We’ve got two days left and no more time for books.

Step 3: Apply the Skills

Finished with the reading lists? OK. Hold on to your dick, because now you’re actually going to have to put down the books and do something.

Exactly what that “something” is will depend on your goals, but here are a few examples.

If you’re a 21-year old virgin:

– Start friendly conversations with five different girls
– Create an online dating profile and send out ten emails
– Ask that female “friend” who you’re secretly in love with if she wants to go out on a date

If you’re a “cool guy” who “doesn’t need game to get laid:”

- Go to a high-end bar, find the hottest girl there, and have sex with her.
– Have a threesome
– Find an amazing girl, fall hard for her, and teach her to be happy with your love without a need for monogamy

If you’re a “REALLY cool guy” who can consistently do all of the above

– No matter how good you are, you can be better. Introspect until you realize what scares you, and then go do that.
– If you have truly achieved mastery, start breaking down what you do and teaching it to other men. Maybe your game is as refined as it will get, now work on your ability to share that knowledge

The common theme among each of these exercises is that they push your comfort zone. They ask you to do things you haven’t done before, because you’re afraid to.

Game is like any sport, any skill, or any other aspect of life. There’s always a next level. The resources in this post will help you get there.

Readers: Anything I missed?

How To Avoid A False Rape Accusation

False Rape Accusations are a natural consequence of the Feminist redefinition of rape, and the complete lack of severe legal or social penalties for women who make false accusations. If you are a young man in an English-speaking country today, it’s important to be aware of this threat and take appropriate measures to protect yourself. As Danger and Play wrote in a post on the topic:

“Although you often read of the dangers women face from “date rape,” in truth, men are just as likely to be falsely accused of rape as women are to be actually raped. Not even the most feminist criminal defense lawyer will deny what I’m about to tell you: Fifty-percent of date rape cases are outright false.”

You can read more about the modern false rape epidemic in my guest posts at Return of Kings here, here and here (coming soon), but this post is a practical and no-nonsense guide to avoiding false rape accusations for the modern sexually active young man.

I’m writing specifically for a college age audience in this post, because young guys are the most vulnerable. As you get older, you’ll develop a better instinct for identifying and avoiding unstable women. You’ll also develop the options and self-control to take a pass on women covered in red flags. All of this will come with time. But for now, you lack maturity, you are full of testosterone, and you don’t have the wisdom or life experience to always make good decisions. As a result, there is a very real chance that you will do something stupid, earn the rage of a tyrannical and unjust set of laws, and ruin your life – unless you follow these five pieces of advice:

1. Be Attractive

Here’s a funny video with more than a grain of truth to it:

Provided you are not actually raping anyone (an assumption we are making throughout this article) a woman will only accuse you of sexual assault or rape if she regrets sleeping with you.

The reality of modern dating is this: Attractive men can often get away with literally anything. Hence why Ted Bundy had legions of fans (link to video) and Billy Beta got a drink thrown in his face for telling a girl her dress was cute. If a girl has a few drinks and goes home with Ryan Gosling, do you think she would wake up and question whether what happened “felt right” or not?

Fortunately, being attractive is not beyond the reach of the vast majority of men. Work out, eat right, dress well, and most importantly – learn Game. Male attractiveness is largely behavioural, and false accusations are generally made against men who behave unattractively. Consider this study on the most common personality profile of victims of false domestic violence charges:

“They tend to be your average nice guy who has a more nurturing and passive personality. These men are unlikely to be socially aggressive or competitive and tend to lack insight into their personal relationships, which may explain why so many of these men are thrown for a loop when their ex throws them under the bus — even when she’s made threats throughout their marriage to call 911 and have him arrested (Wakefield & Underwager, 1990).”

(Domestic violence is not rape, but I believe the same principles apply)

Learning and practicing Game will turn you into the sort of man who women wake up excited to brag to their friends about having slept with. As messed up as that is, this is your best line of defense against a false rape accusation.

2. Don’t Date Feminists

Stay far, far away from any girl who enthusiastically identifies as a feminist.

There are many reasons why men with options don’t date feminists. Feminist women are much more likely to hold negative attitudes towards men, have mental health issues, and have serious issues with their sexuality.

Decent girls do not make false rape accusations. Sick, damaged, unloved dregs of society – i.e the sort that gravitate towards the feminist social justice warrior mentality – make false rape accusations. If you are going dumpster diving and scraping ugly feminists off the bottom of the barrel just to get laid, you have no one to blame but yourself when you eventually lose that game of Russian Roulette.

3) Don’t Be A Jerk

Having sex with a somewhat drunk girl, pressuring a girl into sex, pumping and dumping a girl after promising her that you’ll love her to the end of time – none of these are the moral equivalent of actual rape. In a sane world, we would consider such behaviour rude and inconsiderate, but nothing more.

In the world we live in however, we are approaching a legal environment in which all acts that hurt a girl’s feelings are legally considered rape. Hurt feelings can generally be alleviated by practicing rule #1, but it’s also prudent to avoid being a dick unnecessarily.

When I was young, I used to be an asshole to girls for no reason at all. It was fun to push buttons, test social boundaries, and see what I could get away with.

Today, at the ripe old age of twenty-eight, I am a much nicer guy. I let girls down easy. I make them feel good about sex with me, and whatever length of relationship we have. I stand in stark contrast to my early-twenties self.

Part of this change is a genuine desire to be a better person to the people who enter my life, but it’s also practical. It’s bad karma to live in a city or campus filled with jilted girls who hate your guts. Bad karma is never a good thing, but it’s especially risky in an age when there is no clear legal distinction between regret and rape.

4) Record Yourself

Is it weird to capture video and/or audio of the girls you sleep with? Is it ‘paranoid?’ Maybe. But there are very few ‘paranoid’ men in jail for rapes they didn’t commit. Buy a webcam or use your phone’s audio recorder. For many famous athletes, musicians and actors, this is standard operating procedure to protect themselves. From Danger and Play:

“Four Hofstra college students were accused of gang-raping a fellow student. They were thrown into jail, and held without bail. Had they gone to trial, they’d have been convicted.

Yet the men were released from prison, after one of the defendant’s lawyers produced a cell phone video of the encounter, proving it was consensual.

Even lawyers need to beware of false rape accusations. A San Francisco lawyer was charged with raping three women, and held effectively without bond. Luckily he had videotaped sexual encounters with two of the women, and most charges were dismissed against him.

Unfortunately, he did not videotape his sexual encounter with the third accuser, and thus still faces trial.

Some will ask about the legality of secretly recording sexual encounters. Cap We Tape provides an excellent overview of the legal landscape. One must highlight that lawyer in California illegally recorded his sexual encounters. Breaking the law saved his life.”

In the event that you haven’t recorded a hook up, and a girl seems to be heading down the path of making a false accusation, consider the option of bluffing and telling her that you did record the sex. Of course, be sure to check with a lawyer to make sure you don’t break any laws in your jurisdiction.

5) Develop Post-Bang Game

Most girls are in an emotional state after they bang a new guy. A man with solid game can manage and lead that emotional state, to ensure that the girl feels good about the sex that took place. You must be kind and considerate, but also strong.

Do not kick her out, leave her place, ignore her, leave the room, act cold, or make her feel like a slut and that you have lost respect for her.

At the same time, do not melt into a quivering puddle of lovey-dovey weakness. Be the same man you were when you seduced her, but with just a bit softer of an exterior. Be strong, be kind, and maintain a frame of “That was fun and no big deal. Sex is fun and it happens all the time.” Keep giving her positive emotions; make her feel safe, happy and validated.

Roosh nails it in his analysis of the emotional mind state that women who make false rape accusations are in:

“American girls primarily pick their sexual partners based on feelings instead of logic. She fucks you not because you’re a good man who matches her reasoned compatibility criteria, but because you made her pussy wet with a cocky attitude and aloof nature. The problem with selecting sex partners based on feelings is that if she happens to get a bad feeling about you right after sex, she’s going to back-rationalize and find a way to blame you for it.

Live by feelings, die by feelings. When women let sex be determined by little feelings inside their tummies, they will inevitably pick partners that will make them feel regret afterwards. Unfortunately for men, the repercussions from her feelings can have real-world consequences. Be firm in the face of those negative feelings to survive the whimsy of her hamster brain. These days not only do you need game in fucking American women, but you also need to be a psychologist to deal with the unpredictable aftermath.”

6. Confirm with a “Good Feelings Text”

It’s five AM. She’s left your place, full of good emotions. But what if that changes by noon tomorrow? What if she has a talk with her roommate or boyfriend and suddenly feels guilty? She thinks: I am obviously not a slut or a cheater, so if I slept with a guy I just met, there must be someone else at fault, right? I mean, I had a few drinks. And when we first started fooling around, I pushed his hand away the first time he tried to take off my bra, right? Maybe I should head down to the campus women’s support centre and see what they think…

And this is why you should send a text immediately after she leaves your place:

“Had a blast tonight. txt me when you get home safe.”

Or something like that.

Some might ask: Was that beta? Maybe it was. But, better beta for a day than an inmate for life.

Conclusion

The prevalence of false rape accusations, and the complete invisibility of this issue to most media sources is why more and more men are abandoning the mainstream media and spending time reading sites like Thumotic. Educate your friends by sharing this link, and check out the resources below to learn more about false rape accusations and how you can protect yourself from them.

Resources

I’m not the first author to take on this subject:

Roosh: How To Avoid A False Rape Accusation

Danger and Play: How To Avoid A False Rape Case

The Spearhead: How To Avoid A False Rape Accusation (written by a rather handsome fella)

The False Rape Society: How To Avoid A False Rape Charge

Return Of Kings: Game Can Protect You From False Rape Accusations

Laid NYC: Avoiding False Rape Accusations

Kid Strangelove: The I Didn’t Rape You Text

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And there’s some great advice in this Roosh V Forum thread:

Question for experienced players regarding buyer’s remorse

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And of course, check out my three-part series on false rape accusations at Return Of Kings:

(coming soon)

Two Games

The modern man has two games to play.

We’re all familiar with The First Game. The rules are: Have meaningless sex with slutty girls, then go brag about it on the internet. We’re no strangers to the First Game, here at Thumotic.

The Second Game is much less talked-about, but the challenge is greater, the strategy and tactics are more complex, and the stakes are infinitely higher. The rules of The Second Game are: Find a girl with high-quality genes to mate with, and raise your children in a safe and stimulating environment, so that they can take a shot at conquering the world.

A lot of men claim to have no interest in playing The Second Game. Their reasons are varied:

“There are no good women left!”

“Divorce theft!”

“All the married men I know are sad sacks!”

“Why would I want kids brah? I get laid all the time!”

The Rationalization Hamster, aka Cricetidae Cricetinae Rationalus comes in both male and female variants. Yes, some men are genuinely content to lead a barren, childless existence, and there is nothing wrong with that. But many who believe this are lying to themselves. They are afraid, because even though some have mastered The First Game, The Second Game is an order of magnitude more difficult.

How difficult? Well, consider the following traits, which I consider to be the base requirements for a woman who I would eventually consider as a potential mother of my children:

  1. Under 25 years old
  2. Comparable IQ to myself
  3. Physically healthy and beautiful
  4. Christian
  5. A virgin
  6. The product of a stable and loving family
  7. Sweet, kind, feminine and nurturing
  8. Committed to devoting her 20s and 30s to bearing and raising children

What percentage of modern American women fit these criteria? Once upon a time, a healthy majority of men could marry a woman who fulfills all of the above. Today, we are hunting for a few grains of sand scattered within miles and miles of obese, slutty, gender-studies-brainwashed beach.

To make matters more difficult, our success in The First Game can potentially hurt us in the eyes of decent, marriageable women. Good girls don’t want a husband whose partner count is creeping up into the triple digits. In fact, whether or not a girl is open to dating a guy like me is a good litmus test for whether she’s worth commitment or not. When I’m thirty-five and searching for a young wife in the Church singles scene (whatever that looks like) this will be an obstacle that I’ll have to overcome.

But as a seasoned veteran of The First Game, I am in a much better position for success than a man who has bypassed it entirely.

The truth is, ex-cads are the only men with a boner’s chance at a Slutwalk rally of actually achieving a stable and healthy family life in their middle age. Women, even the marriageable ones, are attracted to dominant men who take what they want and bend the world to their will. Young Christian men: We pick-up artists are not monsters. We want families, one day, and not with the sorts of women we spend our evenings with now. We have caught the scent of your relatively unsullied women, and we are coming for them. Whether our conversions are genuine or not is irrelevant to you. Your Church will soon be invaded by an influx of thirty-something Lotharios. Either you will have the same social toolkit as us – acquired through fornication-free catch-and-release, if you take your faith seriously – or you will be outmatched.

good and evil

Not only will Churchians who eschew the First Game lack basic seduction skills, they will also only see the extremely limited and rosy view that such women choose to present to potential “serious” suitors. Much is said about how failure with women engenders bitterness among young beta men, but as Thursday wrote, success with women is more disillusioning than failure.

A man should never buy a used car, unless he knows enough about cars to judge its quality. Similarly, a man should never marry, unless he knows enough about women to confirm that his choice of a wife isn’t giving off a dozen subtle red flags. You can learn a lot about the world from books and blog posts, but some lessons need to be learned directly. You need to wade out into the swamps of the modern sexual marketplace, and get your hands dirty.

You need to go out and:

  • Listen to a married woman order her weak husband to pick up their two children from school, minutes after you’ve come inside her
  • See how easily girls forget about their boyfriends and make out with you, pass you their number, or go home with you, once they’re attracted
  • Have countless conversations with girls you are banging about the highly-sanitized version of their sexual history they release to men who give off any whiff of a provider vibe
  • Spend many hours in bars and clubs, watching the young women who you plan to turn into housewives, drinking themselves retarded and stumbling out at three AM with whoever’s game was tightest that night.

Christian men, maybe you don’t want to be a part of this world. Maybe you see nothing appealing in modern hook-up culture. But if you want to succeed, you need to learn to swim with the sharks. Does it corrode a man’s soul to expose himself to this sort of cynicism ? I argue that truth is never bad for the soul. No one is served by your willful ignorance of the dark corners of the human psyche, except for those who will exploit you for your ignorance.

A man who closes his eyes and plugs his ears to the reality around him, because he is too Good, too Righteous, or too Godly to bear it, is a coward. Christian men: Depending on how you translate the Greek Porneia, playing a spirited game of catch and release will allow you to keep your soul clean while glimpsing into the nature of the beast. There is no excuse for skipping the due diligence on the most important decision of your life. Do not presume that you can succeed in The Second Game, if you don’t properly understand The First.