The 21st-century dating market is competitive and cut-throat. The decline of monogamy has transformed the dating game into a winner-take-all market in which the top 5% of men have unlimited options, while the rest compete for scraps. If you want a fair shot at having your sexual and emotional needs met in the twenty-first century, you need to get into that 5%.
So how do you do that? Start with the basics. Dress well. Build a career and have money to spend. Have cool friends and an interesting social life. Have interesting hobbies. Do everything you can to become as good-looking as possible. Dating is much easier if you are good-looking. Physical appearance is even more important as internet/mobile dating becomes more popular. The most effective step you can take to become better looking is to Get Healthy.
Your next step is to get rid of harmful belief. Modern American (and English, Canadian, Australian) young men have been taught by our feminized culture to be ashamed of their masculinity, ashamed of their desire, and to act deferential and submissive around the women they meet. This is unhealthy and destructive to men’s well-being, and it cripples them in their dating lives.
The first step toward learning game is giving yourself permission to take women off of a pedestal; to have respect for yourself and your own desires; and to appreciate the natural masculine/feminine polarity that defines healthy sexual relationships. The best way to do this is to shut off the mainstream culture that perpetuates this frame. Immerse yourself in The Red Pill instead, and start reading the Great Books that will help you deprogram from mainstream culture.
You’ve probably heard of Game, i.e the study of behavior that women find attractive. If you’re interested in psychology and social dynamics, it’s easy to dig deep into this subculture and spend hundreds of hours reading and theorizing. That’s fine if it’s something you enjoy, but if you just want to see practical results, I recommend you go with a simple, straightforward, inexpensive, introductory text like Roosh V’s Day Bang, which is only fifteen bucks. If you’re looking for something more cerebral (but still 100% actionable), Krauser’s Day Game Nitro is an excellent book that completely changed how I approach during the day. It is comprehensive, and I recommend it unconditionally to anyone is interested in Day Game. The only drawback is the price ($70).
The rest of this section lists some fairly dense books about the evolutionary origins of behaviour. They’re all great, but if you are struggling with getting and keeping girls in your life right now, don’t get caught in a cycle of endless reading.
The best and most accessible book you will ever read about the applications of evolutionary psychology to human mating behaviour is Sperm Wars by Robin Baker.
Evolutionary psychology is an endlessly fascinating and practical field of study. Here are my favourite popular texts:
The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins
The Red Queen, Matt Ridley
The Evolution Of Desire, David Buss
The Mating Mind, Geoffrey Miller
If you’ve studied psychology in a progressive western university, you may have been taught that evolutionary psychology is evil and wrong, and we are all blank slates awaiting social conditioning. Needless to say, the Marxists/Feminists/Progressives are not on the side of truth. If you are interested in the historical context of the academic battle between Ev Psych and the Blank Slatists, check out:
The Blank Slate, Stephen Pinker and
On Human Nature, E.O. Wilson
The Art of Seduction, Robert Green: an entertaining and informative collection of profiles of great seducers throughout history.
The Game, Neil Strauss: A good introduction to pickup artists and the history of the modern seduction community. It’s a bit of a hit piece and you’ll roll your eyes at the Disney ending, but it’s well-written and provides some useful context.
The blog archives of Heartiste/Roissy in DC are also essential reading.