The 100% Guaranteed First Date Bang

by Frost on January 7, 2013

I recently outlined the 100% Guaranteed Second Date Bang. But, why wait two whole dates? I’m a busy man.

Really though, this is not a recipe for an actual guaranteed first-date bang.  The second-date bang is still my go-to, but sometimes a girl comes along who is just so obviously into you that you know all you have to do is seal up your logistics, avoid making her feel like a slut, and otherwise just avoid fucking up. It is the seduction equivalent of a wide-open lay-up, a penalty shot on an empty net.

When I’m on a first date with a girl who seems ready to fuck from the get-go,  I bust out… wait for it… The Karaoke Move. FYI my target demographic is 21-25 year old college educated leads from Plenty Of Fish, aka the trashiest online dating site this side of Adult Friend Finder.

The Karaoke Move is simple. My go-to first date spot has Karaoke some nights at 9:30 PM. Thus, I always schedule a first date for 8:30 PM on those days. (Actually I schedule them for 8:00, then text with a change to 8:30 right after work. Flake Defense 101, but that’s another post). This gives me a solid hour to work my magic. After the hour is up, shitty Karaoke starts blasting through the speakers. If your first date spot doesn’t have karaoke, that’s cool. Most lounge-y spots have a set hour when they turn the music up from quiet to slightly obnoxiously loud for two people trying to talk.

“Well, that’s too bad,” I’ll say, a minute after the music comes on. “Is this kind of music your style?” (hahah no) “Me neither, I want to get out of here. I’m having fun though.” (Yeah, me too…) “Well hey, (spontaneously) I live right around the corner. Let’s have one more drink at my bar (the one my brother and I just finished building, and I told her earlier all about how cool it is). I can also show you (random bullshit)!”

Sixty-five percent of the time, it works every time. Now the girl is in your apartment, has a glass of vino, smooth jazz in the background, dim lights, and your roommates are mart enough to stay out of the way. I think you can take it from here.

But, you may ask, what if she balks at the prospect of coming to your place an hour after meeting a stranger from the internet? Well, first you may be surprised how slutty most girls are these days. But if the Karaoake move fails, I cut the night off politely right there, leaving her to wonder if she’s lost me forever by not accepting my invite. Which, the astute reader will recall, is the optimal mindset for her to be in leading up to the 100% Guaranteed Second Date Bang.

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