The Answer to All Your Questions

Here at Thumotic, we’re inventing a new religion.

You need this because existing religions seem silly to you, and the only alternative – self-destructive nihilism – is killing you.

Maybe you’re keeping yourself up at night, wondering if you’re living correctly, and if anything you believe is actually true. If so, don’t feel bad; smart people like Scott Adams, Mike Cernovich, Roosh V, Free Northerner, Vox Day, Aurini, and all manner of internet thought-criminals are asking the same questions. Their answers differ, but not one of them seems to have concluded “lol magic sky fairy”.

As a smart and thoughtful person, you are naturally curious about the nature and origins of the universe, reality, consciousness, and ethics; I promise that this post holds the answers to all of your questions. Today, I will provide you with a comprehensive theological framework that you can use to live a virtuous life. I promise you will not be disappointed. However let me remind you that there is a difference between feeling disappointed, and being disappointed.

The answer to all of your questions is here.

I acknowledge that some of you feel disappointed. All of this build-up, and in the end it turns out Thumotic is just another run-of-the-mill Christian blog?

Well, not quite. On the contrary, I believe Christianity might be the most dangerous memeplex ever to have appeared in the world. I also believe Jesus Christ may have been the Son of God, who died on the cross to atone for the sins of mankind. However I don’t believe there are valid explanations between these two poles.

This puts us in an awkward position. Christianity is beautiful and powerful and good and true. But, mousetraps often have big hunks of sharp stinky cheese. Is Christianity an unalloyed wheel of delicious cheesy truth? Or it is a mousetrap?

Here’s the cheese:

Christianity is beautiful

Almost everything beautiful that exists in our world, was created by Christians. Art, literature, architecture, music, scientific and technological progress – we owe it all to men who felt a deep spiritual and practical devotion to Jesus Christ. The high-water mark of European civilization coincides with the era of greatest Christian influence, and Europe’s decline closely tracks its abandonment of traditional Christianity.

There are exceptions; technological progress continues apace in a Godless Silicon Valley, and Classical Antiquity is responsible for its share of marvels. But as a general rule, any fair reading of history must conclude that Christianity leads to beauty. To me, this is the single greatest piece of evidence in its defense.

Christianity is useful

The Christian Tradition (as distinct from Neo-Christianity, aka Churchianity, aka Cucktianity)  offers us a practical guide to living and interacting with our world. Compared to the status quo lifestyle of the modern Western man, living the life of the Good Christian would represent a 10x improvement. If you wish to live a productive, purposeful, creative life, you can’t go wrong lighting a candle to the same muse that inspired Michelangelo, Mozart, or Newton.

Christianity is Truth (Maybe)

Perhaps the Bible really is the infallible Word of God, in which case you’ll get the added bonus of eternal life.

But even if it’s not – or, you believe it’s not – there’s no immediate downside to using Christianity as an epistemic spare tire until you find a proper service station. Do you need a spare tire? If your current religious beliefs feel like they’re working out for you, maybe you don’t. But otherwise, you’ve got nothing to lose from trying a radical experiment and converting to Christianity.

You might have a lot to lose in the long term however. We’ll explore that in future Thumotic posts. But for now: What could possibly be more radical, more transgressive, more rebellious, and more fun, than going to Church in [Current Year]? Quoting the notorious hacker 4Chan:

“/pol/ is  a strange beast, huh?

Young men, disregarding ill-gotten wealth, praise, and pursuits of the flesh. Instead they argue for strong families, belief in something larger than yourself, and for living as independently and righteously as possible.

Literally this has to be the end of the world… where the gutter of the internet is trying to be good people because normal people are so shit, it’s the only way left to rebel.”

politics-quote

It all starts with knowledge and an open mind. If you’re afraid of Christianity, here are three books that might be worth your time:

How Atheism Led Me To Faith, Peter Hitchens

Mere Christianity, CS Lewis

Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill

A Thumotic Manifesto

The other day I was tinkering around in my garage and I decided to build a new religion.

Right now, you think this is a crazy idea. You’ll eventually realize it’s the most interesting and important project in the world.

Why do we need a new religion?

We need a new religion because theology is killing us. We believe in nothing, and our nihilism manifests in physical, spiritual, and genetic self-destruction: the slow suicides of drug and alcohol abuse; pornography and video game addiction; endless dating; and existential malaise. We are the Akratic generation, and we will not be saved by the extant quasi-spiritual traditions of Progressivism, Churchianity, Secular Humanism, nor even motivational men’s dating blogs.

Andrew Breitbart perceived that politics is downstream from culture. But politics and culture are both downstream from religion. A tribe’s ultimate beliefs about nature, gods, ethics, and purpose will reverberate through their epistemic layers of assumptions, premises, and shared values, to impact their practical beliefs and actions.

If you want to change what people do, you have to change how they think.

How do we build a new religion?

Building a new religion is a frighteningly ambitious idea. But religions do exist, so clearly it has been done before.

As I see it now, there are three possible outcomes to this project:

  1. We create an entirely new religion.
  2. We identify the better aspects of several theological traditions, and stitch them together in a new spiritual patchwork.
  3. We recognize the Truth of an existing religion, and create a new exegesis for modern audiences.

In the coming weeks we’ll start chipping away at some early product development questions. My near-term goals are to attract smart, inquisitive people with a variety of well-formed religious beliefs, and start building a community that supports rigorous thinking and productive dialectic. I want to gather intelligent Christians, Pagans, Atheists, and Techno-Futurists, and make them enunciate their beliefs in a rhetoric-free forum. I want to create – dare I say it – a safe space for smart people to intelligently discuss theology.

Secular readers can view this project as a rational attempt to design an operating system for the human brain; Christians can read Thumotic as a 21st-century exegesis of Biblical Truth into the language and social context of contemporary society; Techno-futurists can see it as a reconciliation of traditional eschatology with the looming AI singularity.

What is the new religion?

You have questions: What is the new religion called? Do we have a deity? Will we have to slaughter infidels, or wear funny hats? But my agnosticism is not a literary or rhetorical device, and I’m not starting this project with a specific end in mind. Our mission is to develop and evangelize a better religion, or a better version of an existing religion. This will be a daunting project but, I think well worth the trouble.

For now, let’s just call our new religion The Product. This will help us avoid the brain-muddling baggage that usually comes with conversations about religion. And rather than speak of converts, devotees, zealots, brothers-in-faith, etc., let’s call practitioners of our new religion users.

Our task is to design a Product that meets the needs of the users. The first step is to identify those needs – what problem does religion solve? This is a hard question, but here’s a first pass at our design specs:

  • The Product will improve users’ subjective well-being, i.e. the product should make users feel “happy”.
  • The Product will improve users’ value of their community, i.e. by making them more productive, cooperative, and pro-social. However, the product should also protect the user, and communities of users, from out-group exploitation.
  • The Product will help users thrive. ‘Thriving” is hard to define, but if users are not meaningfully engaged in producing and appreciating beautiful art, something has probably gone wrong.
  • The Product will be viral.
  • The Product will be true, i.e. tenets of the product should be consistent with logic, empirical reality, and the innate moral instincts of humanity.

Like any good 21st-century startup, we are entirely unconcerned with monetization. We want daily active users, and we want to Make The World A Better Place.

Next Steps

Many of you have already recognized the Great Awakening taking place, as the aptly-named Millennial generation channels its theological impulses into nascent spiritual movements: Diversity, Tolerance, and The Environment for Blue America; God-Emperor Donald Trump, Swole Acceptance, The All-Mighty Kek (behead all who insult Him), and Meme Magic for the young, rebellious and internet-savvy.

Half of western youth are saying their prayers at the Altar of Separate Recycling Bins; the other half is on the verge of deifying a Cartoon Frog, pbuh. This seems like a good market to go after.

So: Bloggers, Twitter celebrities, and forum members with illustrious posting careers, consider this an open invitation to share your theological pitch to the current generation of godless nihilists.

If you would like to contribute, I can be reached here: freedomfrost25 [at] gee-maile dot com. Please send me guest posts, thoughtful emails and reading recommendations ad libitum.

New posts will appear here on Saturdays, and I can be followed on Twitter: @FreedomTwenty5