Meditation can give you super powers. I believe this statement is true, and I haven’t been able to disprove it so far.
I’m not talking about hyperbolic “super powers” like the ability to stay focused, improve your mood, become more self-aware, or any of the other all-too-human benefits of meditation. I’m talking about legitimate comic-book-superhero powers like super-strength, flight, and the ability to harness energy and manipulate it in the physical world.
I realize all of this sounds insane, but here’s my challenge to you: try the following meditation techniques, and see if you can replicate my experience. If so, maybe we can get together and fight super villains sometime.
Meditation Technique #1: Absorb energy from Earth’s yellow sun
Superman derives his powers from Earth’s yellow sun. Kal-El was a regular guy on Krypton, but since our sun is brighter than Krypton’s, it turns him into superman. Maybe it can turn you into superman too.
The only way to find out is to sit comfortably in the grass on a sunny day, close your eyes, and spend a half hour concentrating on the warmth of the sun on your skin, focusing on the belief that the sun is magically making you stronger, faster, and better.
As the minutes tick by and your skin gets warmer, you’ll drop into deeper and deeper levels of separation from the physical world around you, bringing all of your awareness to the experience of the sun on your skin, and its ability to transform you into a super-human.
When you open your eyes and stand up, you’ll feel ten times more powerful than you did when you first closed your eyes. You don’t have to know how it works, you just have to believe.
If you make this meditation technique a habit, you’ll also set up a subconscious trigger that calls up this feeling of superhuman power whenever you feel the warmth of the sun on your body, which is pretty cool.
Meditation Technique #2: Flight
Independent flight is difficult for humans, but it can be learned.
Once you’ve achieved a fairly deep meditative state, focus on levitating your body above the surface you’re sitting on. With practice, you’ll be able to slowly rise up, lose the sensation of connection with the ground, and hover or fly around at your leisure. Opening your eyes seems to instantly but non-violently return you to your original position, but until then, the sensation of flight is undeniably real.
Meditation Technique #3: Shoot fireballs of energy
Years ago, I had a hyper-realistic dream in which I’d developed telekinesis.
I still have vivid memories of that dream, discovering the power to move small objects with my mind, and training those powers over weeks and months to the point that I could effortlessly manipulate my environment with my thought.
I haven’t been able to replicate this power in non-dreamspace, but I have been working on the ability to shoot balls of energy over a short distance. These invisible energy projectiles gather strength in my chest, and then shoot towards their intended target, making the person feel happy, sad, confident, insecure, or obedient, depending on my intention. I practice forming these projectiles in silent, solo meditation, so I can navigate social situations with a full clip of emotional shells, ready to be unleashed as needed.
A skeptic might claim that my perceived ability to alter people’s moods with energy balls is a result of subconscious social cues, combined with expectation and confirmation bias. Still, they seem to work, and I’m confident I’m slowly getting better at them.
I know what some of you are thinking: all of this is silly at best, and probably closer to insane. Part of me agrees with you.
But here’s what I can guarantee: these silly beliefs help me enjoy and derive more benefit from a regular meditation habit.
Plenty of people have their own mental models for what’s happening in their minds when they meditate, but most writing on meditation is written by peace-and-love mushheads, and is completely unrelatable to an audience of healthy, masculine men. The three meditation techniques above are a good place to start if you’re trying to start a meditation routine without becoming a hipster vegan pacifist in the process.
There’s a part of me that knows I’m not going to develop magical super powers through regular meditation. But, there’s no question that meditation consistently leads to tangible, non-magical health and lifestyle benefits. If my beliefs in flight and fireballs make me enjoy meditation more, I will happily use those beliefs as a tool to improve my life.
Readers: what are your best meditation practices? Share them in the comments below.